The Don’ts of Loneliness

Don’t sing, “Poor, poor pitiful me.” If you start nursing your pain along, wallowing in it, it will get worse.

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Don’t decide that you don’t need anybody. God designed people to relate to others – It is not good for the man to be alone. So don’t give up on relationships, don’t quit caring about people. Don’t start living for things. Don’t retreat from everybody – as if to punish them for not caring about you (”They’ll be sorry when I’m not around anymore!”).

Don’t generalize: “There’s nothing I can do. It will be this way the rest of my life. They’re all creeps, anyway. Nobody cares about me. Nobody understands.” You may feel that way, but none of these generalizations are true, regardless of who you are.

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Don’t start demanding attention. Don’t read your assertiveness-training bookled and then try to force people to feel sorry for you because you’re lonely. Don’t manipulate other people to include you – you don’t have a right to their time and friendship. Don’t play sick just to get attention.

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Don’t pull the Great Escape. Some people do this by joining some weird cult or organization where they lose their identities. Some people try to escape loneliness by jumping into wrong relationships, such as a recent divorcee marrying the first guy she sees, such as a guy joining a street gang because there’s nobody else to do anything with, such as a girl eloping with somebody she doesn’t love just to escape a lonely home life. Some try to escape loneliness in booze or dope. And of course the biggest escape of all is suicide.

             But don’t give up. There’s hope.