The Waiter

Ever been in a restaurant where a waiter stands by your side while you eat? Once every while they will ask you “Anything you want sir?” Sounds like good service huh! Imagine they stand there all those moment you are eating as they just stare at you awaiting service. Quite irritating I suppose? You’ll tell yourself “what’s this??”, then still later you’ll simply tell him flat out “I’ll just call when I need you, ok?” Just knowing that they are there when we need them is assuring enough, but for them to be hanging around all the time. Hey, we need to enjoy our meal!!

Now let’s apply it to our relationships with our close friends, & loved ones. It sure is fun when we share time, love and laughs. But just as important to consider is that we all need certain amount of time to be separate and apart as well. We all require space for other things, for our hobbies and interests, for other people and most importantly for ourselves. Just like the waiter, it’s enough for us to be assured that they will always be there for us when we needed them. I believe we all experienced situations where in someone’s offer for help comes close to being irritating already. It’s a case of “they seem to be fussing all over you”. That is because there are times (even when we have problems) that we wanted to be alone and ponder them on our own. Lots of times, we are afraid to brush them off thinking we might offend them, then on times we did, they will lament and say “Here I am helping you and yet you’re still angry at me)”. That’s the point that leads to a lot of bad-feelings. If only they can understand that loving (or helping) doesn’t necessarily mean being there for them and with them all the time. Loving (or helping) also means knowing when to back off and leave them in their own private world. Time spent together should not be about quantity, but should be about quality instead. Besides just like in the Law of Polarity, we need to be apart to able to miss one another.

Let’s go back to the restaurant. We need an additional order or two, we beckon the waiter and here he comes at once at your service. You’ll gush and say “He’s ok, I’ll give him a good tip later.” But there will also be situations where we will call him but he will be busy entertaining other customers. He sees us and put his hands up meaning, he is aware of our needs and will soon come over. That’s Ok, we simply wait. But others however will simply pretend not to see us or just pretend to be busy (the lazy ones or he has other preferred customer). Then we get pissed off. When we get pissed off, there are 3 possible response from us: 1st, We call the attention of the waiter directly, 2ND, we give a piece of our mind to the supervisor (or head waiter), stomp off and refuse to eat in that restaurant again, ever. Unmindfully in our anger we are depriving ourselves of the good food that they offered because of that one indiscretion by a waiter or 3rd, We simply accept things as they are, move ahead and call other waiters while telling ourselves “I am not going to let this waiter ruin my meal.”