The You Others See

Is the personality you present to the world the “real you”? Perhaps it’s a projection of the person you’d like to be – or the person you think you are. Check out the facts below and discover what your image is really saying to other people…

LYING EYES?

Your eyes and the way you look at other people can convey all sorts of information about your true personality. Pupil dilation and its meaning is well- documented (i.e. that the pupils enlarge when you find something pleasant, enjoyable or attractive and become smaller when you find something distasteful, uncomfortable or repulsive), but there are many other ways that eyes can be read. For example:

* During conversation, the more often you look at the person you’re talking to and the longer you hold their gaze, the more likely it is that they’ll perceive you as liking them.

* When speaking on a specific subject, if you can hold a steady gaze between you and the person/people you’re speaking to, they are more likely to believe you really know what you’re talking about.

* One British study (by Rutter and Stephenson in the British Journal Of Social And Clinical Psychology) states that if you maintain steady eye contact with a total stranger of the opposite sex, they could interpret this as you being sexually attracted to them.

* The less you look at your romantic partner, the more likely you are to be comfortable within the relationship. (This is explained in one study, which states that if a couple are constantly glancing at each other to assess and monitor reactions, they are probably poorly adjusted within the relationship.)

* You can get someone’s (especially a man’s) sympathy by gazing dolefully into his eyes as you talk to him.

* Looking someone straight in the eyes isn’t necessarily going to make them believe you’re trustworthy. In fact, an American study by Burns and Kintz revealed that when you lie you’re likely to hold your gaze for far longer than when you’re telling the truth (more so when you’re lying to a man)!

* Lowering your eyebrows (as opposed to raising them) when talking gives others the impression of dominance.

BODY TALK

The way you sit, stand and move are all-important in personality assessment.

* Mirror-imaging (i.e. imitating the stance or movements) of the person you’re conversing with, informs them that you’re in tune with what they’re thinking and saying.