Time Management: Gaining Time by Learning to Say “No”

 To meet the goals in your life you need to know when to yes and when to say No. Many times we say yes because we do not want to disappoint people. This stops us from saying no when we need to. To accomplish the things you really want to accomplish you may need to say no requests for your time. Even if the request is worthwhile, it may interfere with your priorities and goals.

Many of us find it difficult to say “No” in our personal and professional lives. This inability to say no can be costly. We may over promise in our personal and professional lives if we say yes to requests from others when we should say no.

We are taught as children to respect our parents and authority. To say No is an act of rebellion. Also we do not like to disappoint people. There are times when “No” is appropriate and healthy. It can save us from making commitments against company policy or being intimidated by customers, suppliers and others. Saying no can keep you from being exhausted from being over committed.

Learning to say “No” takes practice. We will discuss some responses you can use in the appropriate situation.

To be effective you need to be assertive. Assertive is not aggressive. To be assertive is to be honest, direct polite, persistent. You are in control of yourself and your situation. To be assertive is to be honest, direct, polite, persistent, and in control. Assertive people help others while making sure their own needs are met. Being assertive can help you in negotiation.

Saying No Assertively

• “I will do what you want under the following conditions……”
• “I will help you if you do this for me…………….. “
• “OK ….I will help you this time but next time…..”
• ” I would like to, but it is against our company guidelines……..”
• “No, I won’t be able to do that for you.”
• “No, I can’t give you that appointment date, but I can give you……”
• “No, I can’t make an exception to our re-embuirsement policy.”
• “No, I can’t come to the meeting, I already have a commitment for that time.”
• ” I can help you if I can delay the assignment until next week.”
• ” I can come if we start the meeting an hour later.”
• “Let me think it over and get back to you tomorrow.”
• “That sounds like a great project, thanks for thinking of me, I won’t be able to participate in this fund raiser.”

Making No more Effective

• Use body language to underline your “No”. Shake your head as you say “No” firmly and look the other person in the eye.
• Let someone no if you would like to help but really can’t. ” No Bill, I can’t help you with the project. I have 2 projects due tomorrow. I know you are really in a bind, but maybe Randy can help you.”
• Start the sentence with “No”. An unintended Yes is less likely to come out.

You do need to have balance, help others in your personal and professional life when possible. Just keep in mind your own work and personal goals and priorities.