Troublesome In-laws

Ultimately a lot of us might have been in this position before. A pester of a mother-in-law, or the showing up of the ‘rents’ unannounced. It happens. Sometimes we feel like it is pushing us to the breaking point and you might snap, or feel like snapping. We all need to stop and remember that everyone is pushed to a certain limit all the time, and this in return (over time) will push anyone to be susceptible of snapping. So if you are snapped upon, it may not be personal, it is still inexcusable though. And if you are thinking of snapping you should consider the consequences beforehand. Here is some advice:

• What to do if you do snap: Remember that you are related because of marriage. Your marriage is the most important thing to you, not the argument you are making with the in-laws. If you have exploded you should end the argument completely and apologize for your tension, and explain you’re having trouble with their actions, or their words. They need to know what they are doing wrong or they cannot correct the problem at hand. You should make sure that you change your attitude immediately to reduce the tension, but don’t act like everything is okay; you don’t want to seem psychotic. Also make sure they receive a nice apology. You did snap at them after all. And if the problem continues, they might not have received a good explanation as to how to correct the problem, or they might deserve another apology.
• What to do if you have snapped in the past: It is tough to recover from a snap in your past. You can take baby steps to healing the relationship. Of course first you should apologize, and give specific reasons as to the extent of why you snapped. Pressure is a problem for everyone and on some occasions can be a forgivable excuse. If they do not accept the apology, they may need more time for wounds to heal.
• What to do if you feel a future snap knocking at your door: This is the point at which all of us can sit back and think about your feelings. Before you do anything irrational, think about how your relationship has been in the past, bad or good, you should consider not snapping at your in-laws. After all I’m sure your significant other loves them dearly.
• How to handle getting snapped upon: Yes, they are in-laws, they are going to nag, but it is not polite for them to snap on you. You should try to neutralize the situation by explaining that they can speak their mind to you in a civilized manner, because you both deserve the courtesy. It is best for you to talk about whatever is creating the stress and figure out a way to fix and avoid the trouble in the future. If they continue the commotion you should ask them to speak to you about the problem when they cool off because it is important to you as well.
• And how to snap politely: So you feel like you have a word or two to say to their parents, politely. You should be able to act mature and treat them with the same respect that you feel you deserve. So to do so nicely, you should think about what you want them to know the most about how you feel. Not that you truly wish they would fall off the earth, but that you’re becoming very emotional with whatever they are doing. You should explain the predicament and remedial advice. Don’t get angry when your explaining how you feel, the last thing you want to do is create anxiety for the both of you. And if the problem is involving you, you should take corrective action towards fixing the problem as well.