Try Your Best, Forget The Rest

I do it, you do it, we all do it! Human beings are oftentimes way too hard on themselves, beat themselves up, and end up feeling like failures. You wanna know something crazy nobody ever teaches you? Sometimes you have to fail a hundred times in order to be successful. Yes, I know, it’s not easy to pick yourself up, dust yourself up, and start all over again, when you and the dirt have become such close acquaintances. To me, failure only applies to those who don’t even try, since they automatically miss a hundred shots they were too scared to take. How many times have you found yourself looking in the mirror saying, “Well, when I lose those last ten pounds, then I can do x!” Or, “Well, I can’t begin x until my life is perfectly ordered and after I have x amount of dollars in the bank account.” Or, “only after I have this kind of car, these kind of clothes, etc, can I begin to start x?” Or even worse! “Well, x happened, so I definitely can’t do x because I’m such a failure!” It’s as though during those moments you start wearing rose-colored glasses and can only see your imperfections glaring back at you.

The definition of perfection is being entirely without fault or defect. In other words, yawn, boring. Nobody is perfect! And if anybody makes you feel as though you “could” or “should” be perfect (two big vocabulary words in the worlds of perfectionists), your antenna “should” go up immediately and take the emergency exit out the back door. Of course, everybody does have to deal with with the overly-demanding/tyrannical boss, but in your own home, you my friend are in the driver’s seat and create the rules. Most importantly are the ways in which you talk to yourself.

One of my major goals this year is to become better with money (isn’t everyone’s?). Have I been perfect? Nope! Not at all. But I have taken steps to become more aware as to what I’m spending my money on and how little purchases throughout the day can add up to a new car payment by the end of the month. Hmmm…would I rather have this tasty gourmet sandwich or a sparkling brand new car? I know it seems obvious, but when your stomach is grumbling, it can be a little bit tough. What I did to try to become more fiscally responsible is grab one of those little transaction books and start recording all of my purchases so that I’m aware, even if I make a choice I’m less than thrilled with (I’ve been complimented on this several times and people ask me where they can get one). This to me has been a giant step in getting out of my own perfection by not haranguing myself when I spend a little bit too much money on needless indulgences. I’ll probably have to make up for it by working extra hours or something. Now, old behavior for me would be to be doing perfectly, then when I slip-up or have a set-back, freak out, criticize myself, and then give up entirely. Then after I’ve given-up, I’m told by an outsider, friend, or whoever, how well I was actually doing and that I was on the right track. The funny thing about perfection is that anything that you do will never be good enough because it’s impossible to achieve! It also is underlined by fear; fear of making a mistake, looking bad, or feeling stupid. When really life is about showing up and doing the work even if you are feeling sick, broke, fat, ugly, hung-over, tired, angry, or depressed. To me, the most interesting people I admire had less than squeaky-clean backgrounds and usually struggled quite a bit either within themselves or in the world before they were successful. They have a certain depth, understanding, and wisdom about life that only a bit of turmoil and imperfection could have taught them. Nothing in life is ever easy and sometimes, you do have to trudge through mud to get to the other side.

I hope this helps! I know how perfection can be:)