Unwilling to Forgive
by When you forgive someone for hurting you, you are actually healing yourself.
Do you ever wish that you could let go of some unforgiving feelings that you have for a former friend who betrayed you, but they are stuck to you like permanent glue?
When a friend, of many years, betray you to the highest degree, the pain can take a toll on you physically and emotionally. In fact, your willingness to trust anyone can be greatly diminished. You may even start doubting yourself in many areas of your life, especially at choosing friends.
Being blindsides with betrayal is probably the most hurtful way to be betrayed. Perhaps if there were warning signs, sometimes there are but we just miss them, you could at least brace yourself for the heartache ahead. Sometimes, our intuition gives us a heads-up about our choice of friends, but most times we just take people at face value.
Personally speaking, I feel that, if you consider yourself a friend, especially a long time friend, certain lines are not to be crossed. Betraying a confidence, lying to each other, sleeping with each others significant other, are just a few. I’m sure a few more taboos can be added here. The point I am trying to make is that, a true friend only wants the best for you and would never, deliberately do anything hurtful to jeopardize your friendship.
Okay, the damage has been done, you have been betrayed. What do you do now? Is the betrayal severe enough to warrant a deal breaker? Or can this relationship be saved? That would depend on whether you are a forgiving person in general, or you are willing, just this one time, to let bygones be bygones.
Forgiving a friend who has wronged you, is usually for yourself, not for the other person. As stated earlier, holding on to unforgiving feeling can affect you physically and emotionally. Therefore, for you to have healthy relationships in the future, it behooves you to let go of the unforgiving feelings.
Forgiving this person does not mean that you want to buddy-up with him or her, now or ever. It just means that you are free to move on with your life with inner peace and hopefully a new friend that deserves your friendship.
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Post CommentKim Buck
On January 4, 2009 at 12:13 pm
Learning to forgive is truly a hard lesson.
TammieSue
On January 12, 2009 at 10:50 am
Not letting go of hurting feeling can make you ill. The best thing you can do for yourself is to forgive.
Paul
On January 22, 2009 at 12:06 pm
I can understand this piece. It is hard to forgive when someone hurts you, even when it can be healing for you.
Tracy
On January 23, 2009 at 8:55 am
I had to forgive someone, who hurt me very badly. It was very difficult,but I did it, and I feel so much better.
Jackson
On February 26, 2009 at 12:52 pm
Forgiveness sometimes is very hard to have or give, if the hurt is really deep. I hope evenually we would all be able to forgive our fellow man/woman.
Tristain
On February 26, 2009 at 12:55 pm
I agree with Jackson,he is right about not being able to forgive because of the deep hurt. I have been there and I am still trying to find it in my heart to forgive the one that hurt me. Nicely said.
Fresh Writing
On March 1, 2009 at 4:40 pm
Hello, Sugar,
Like Tristain (though I hate joining the chain), I have to agree with Jackson. Very well said; forgiveness sometimes is very hard t have or give, especially if you have been hurt deeply.
Excellent work; very meaningful and unique.
-Fresh Writing
SpaceCadet
On March 10, 2009 at 11:31 am
Sugar, this is so true, it is sometimes hard to forgive when you have been hurt so deeply. However, for our on sanity, we should give it our best effort.
pushing 40
On March 20, 2009 at 10:59 am
As I said earlier, some people get hurt and they refuse to let go of the negative feelings. They would be so much happier, if they let go and move on. Good job.
Shatti
On May 28, 2009 at 8:49 am
Unwilling to forgive is dangereous for all parties involved. It is better to forgive than to hold a grudge. Great job
SharifaMcFarlane
On July 14, 2011 at 1:41 pm
Certain things, you might forgive, but to continue with the friendship, no.