Verbal Diarrhea

Knowing when to stop, when to start, when to initiate, and when to close a conversation is an act of discernment few people possess, otherwise it is just verbal diarrhea, useless words no one wants to hear. Here are a few different types of people who use more words and thoughts than necessary when communicating. Maybe you are one of these, and maybe you are a victim listener of some of these. Always remember, Just because you can talk, doesn’t mean you always should. In the words of Rebecca West, “There is no such thing as conversation. It is an illusion. There are intersecting monologues, that’s all.”

The Overkill Explainer-This talk a loter likes the word because. This person will share their useful piece of information that is pertinent to the conversation or question, then proceed to say elaborate as to why, and then further explain the first why. I may say to the human resource director, “Are the bills finished so I can postage them and send them out?” She replies “they are not ready yet.” This is an adequate response. Then she replies “Because I have to get them signed by the director and he hasn’t signed them yet.” This response, though unnecessary is okay too. But then she says “I tried to give them to him earlier but he was in a meeting so I had to wait then I got all these phone calls from insurance companies wanting me to do stuff for them then I has to go to the bathroom but I found the door was locked again *exasperated sigh here* so I had to go back to my office and get a key so I could unlock the bathroom door and go to the bathroom and then I came back and the director still had not signed them, so I don’t know, I never have enough time in my day to finish things…I just don’t know.” I know. I think she does have the time to get everything done in time; she just fills her day up with her habit of combining pointless details with bad story telling.

The Out Shiner-this person is also commonly labeled an interrupter because he cannot seem to hear out another’s story or impressive facts before he has something better to surpass his competitor. It is unconscious, of course, this outdoing of the other person, but we have all heard it, and we have all been a part of it at some point. I cannot express to you my disappointment in both persons involved in this type of conversation. One will say something that seeks the attention and approval of another person to say, “wow!” But the other person has a better story, so he thinks, so he makes a bigger “wow” deserving statement and pauses for the impressed response but instead receives another story that has outdone his own, because the first party is still waiting for their deserved “wow!” But instead the out shiner trumps the first out shiner’s response, possibly even in the middle of their sentence to forego it with a more amazing story. Interruptions will begin to take place now, and so will exaggerations. The voices and eyebrows will begin to raise, not impressed at the story being told to them, but by their own. Neither is listening to the other person but thinking of a bigger and better story to tell for the next interruption break. This is not conversation, this is competition.