You want it. You crave it. But, right now, you can’t have it. What’s to be done?
The typical human being is wired to want sex a fair amount. True, the yearning tends to wear off with the years, but even those in their 40s, 50s and 60s occasionally get that little pin-prickling sensation in their… areas. What’s to be done?
Well, if nobody else is home to help out, the solution is pretty obvious. That’s not always an option, though, so how does a sex-starved body ward off the compulsion to get down and go back to normal?
Below are five simple, easy ways to get your mind off sex. They usually work, and even if they don’t, well, they can at least help you delay until you can satisfy the urges.
1.) THINK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE. That, quite frankly, doesn’t sound easy at all. It sounds downright impossible when your brain is addled with thoughts of ‘the nasty’. The key here is to think about something that will sweep your brain up and carry it away to, er, more important matters. Potential candidates include:
- Something in the news that’s bothering you
- What you need to get ready for work
- A problem in your family that’s been nagging you lately
- The economy
Typically, you want to go to a realm tinged with negativity, as negativity is a good way to kill the sex drive. (Just don’t go too negative. Depression isn’t worth the hormonal harmony.)
2.) ENGAGE IN A MENTALLY CHALLENGING TASK. Like playing a video game. Or doing a crossword puzzle. Or playing Sudoku. Or trying to master a difficult song on an instrument. Anything that will force you to redirect your attention away from your midsection and to the task at hand. Note that simpler activities that don’t require much brainpower – cleaning, for example – don’t often work.
3.) ENGAGE IN A PHYSICALLY CHALLENGING TASK. Yes, simple tasks don’t work. If you can wear your body out, however, you’ll find your sex drive being replaced by a need to rest at the end – though only if you work out like crazy. Going halfsies won’t work here. You need to be running as hard as you can, lifting more weight than you’ve ever lifted, doing more work than your body’s hormones can handle.
One thing to keep in mind: a healthy body from exercising is often responsible for raising sex drive in the long run. If you don’t want persisting troubles in this region, don’t take this route.
4.) LISTEN TO SOME SLOW, DEPRESSING MUSIC. Calm the excitement raging in your brain. Close down all the avenues that are causing you to go a bit stir crazy. When you start hearing talk of jilted lovers, people dying and the crumminess of the world in your ears, you’ll likely give up on wanting to copulate.
5.) THINK ABOUT SOMETHING SO UNSEXY THAT YOU DON’T GO TO THE SEXY PLACE. Like… your grandmother… in the bathtub. Or your overweight coworkers stretched out on a lawn with nothing on but a smile. You can probably get unsexier than either of those, as well, and the results should be to your satisfaction.
And if none of those work…?
GET A JOB IN THE SEX INDUSTRY. This tip comes from English Pravda.ru, and it’s brilliant. Think about it. You’re inundated by sex 24/7. This will be stimulating for a little while, but the novelty will wear off really quickly. You won’t HATE sex as a result, but you’ll be able to control your impulses rather easily from that point on.