Ways to Learn More About Yourself

It all seems too familiar, doesn’t it? You leave the house feeling great and then one word or action from a colleague or boss can mess up your whole day so much that you sometimes carry the aggression back home with you.  And most of the time you end up feeling they are purposely out to give you a hard time.

It is true that you cannot control what people do to you but you can control how you react to them. But what if you have figured out all the perfect ways to deal with people except yourself? It is easy to go through life believing we know everything about ourselves and because we thrive to be this perfect individual, we tend to forget that we could sometime be wrong in the eyes of others. There is no worse illusion that could happen to anyone than the thought of being ‘perfect’.  Sometimes we are not aware of our flaws because we are sedated by the comfort of our homes and the love of our family who most times look beyond our flaws.  And this robs us of that opportunity to really get to know our strengths and weaknesses.

Our environment plays a major part in what we are today. For some people, their impatience stems from an environment where aggression is the only way they know to get by in a competitive world. This gives rise to anger, hostility and sometimes suspicion. So much so that any form of question is considered an attack on their personality.

For some others, it could be as a result of growing up in dysfunctional families, abusive relationships or an environment surrounded by real or threatened violence. And some might not have experienced any of these issues but still find themselves in a similar situation simply for the reason that nobody wants to be perceived as a pushover.

But in workplaces, charity organizations, communities or any form of social gathering, people know there is a lot to learn about themselves than they might be willing to admit. Here you are faced with a lot of people from different backgrounds, ethnicities and cultures. There are bound to be frictions, clashes of personality and values even when everyone is after the same goal through which they came in contact in the first place.

People are bound to test boundaries or size you up through interactions. They want to know what stuff you are made of. But you owe it to yourself to hold people at arm’s length without getting worked up.  It is easy to give up or avoid gatherings where you considered some peoples’ behaviour domineering and controlling.  The fact is, you cannot change that about people. But channging your response to them can go a long way for your personal growth.

When you find yourself in contact with different people at all sorts of gatherings, this is really a good opportunity to pay attention to what ticks you off, or what makes you think others are out to upset you. And, is there a time or pattern when these frictions show up? Could this be when there is a deadline and you are under pressure to get something done? Do you snap at people when you are exhausted? Perhaps it might be a good idea to take a break rather than to take it out on others. Do you get impatient when people perform less than expected? Have you considered that not everyone can work at the same pace as you do or that your accuracy is based on your years of experience compared to theirs? And maybe they might just need a little more training because, come to think of it, communication is the feedback you get. How many people upset you in a day? Could this be because you always want to have your way all the time and any opposition is deemed an obstacle?

If you can come up with different questions when such matters arise and you are able to answer those questions with sincerity, it’s a good step to learning more about yourself. This will also help you search underlying issues that might have triggered your reactions in the first place.

Reality TV shows, like Big brother, even though its morality can sometimes be Overstated, do hold many psychological nuances. Here, the housemates get to learn a lot about each other. And even though you might not be in the BB House,  you can imagine yourself in that situation and gauge your own reactions if you found yourself there.