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What Happens When. .. ?

A look at what can happen when you do some of those things that you know you shouldn’t, but you may not be sure why.

There are certainly things in life that you know you should not do. Some of them are obvious, others, not so much. Sometimes we don’t even know why we are not supposed to do these things, but we don’t do them anyway because we know something bad will happen (or we do and learn the hard way). Here is a list of a few things that you know you shouldn’t do (or maybe you don’t, I don’t know), and exactly what happens if you should be so foolish as to ignore what you were taught and do them anyway.

What happens when you put metal in the microwave?

Most of us have these neat little contraptions in our homes that use microwaves (hence the name) to heat up our food. You have probably heard, or learned from experience, that you should not put metal in these neat little contraptions. If you have already been absent-minded or stupid enough to do this, then you know that the results are a little unnerving. However, if you haven’t, read on to find out why you shouldn’t.

The microwaves inside of your microwave do not penetrate metal. What will happen is that the waves will be reflected off of the metal item that you have placed in the microwave. Once the microwaves bounce off, they may make their way back to the appliance’s magnetron. If they do this, it may cause significant damage to your microwave, but don’t worry, it won’t explode or anything. At least, I don’t think it will. Also, electrical sparks can be conducted, depending on the size and shape of the metal item. This can be a little disconcerting when it occurs. Just shut the d@mn thing off, if this happens, and let the contents sit for a minute before you open the door, dummy.

What happens when you put your penis in a vacuum cleaner?

Image via Wikipedia

Okay, we all know that there are people who masturbate with some really odd objects. Of course, vacuum cleaners seem like the perfect candidate. They maintain steady suction; the hole is the right size; it sucks the “mess” right into it and you don’t have to worry about getting it pregnant. There are obvious down sides too, such as, it’s a little creepy to stick your willy in a home appliance; vacuum cleaners aren’t very sanitary (not that you desperados are worried about that) and, well, it’s a f*ck%ing vacuum cleaner, dude  There is also one more thing.  You can seriously damage your johnson by doing this.

Small, hand-held vacuum cleaners often have small fans within inches of the opening. Think about it, yeah, that’s exactly what will happen. And, hand-helds aren’t the only vacuums that are not good to attempt coitus with. If you put your penis in a vacuum hose, the suction will pull more blood into your penis than is necessary to maintain an erection, it may also cause your penis to become too swollen and seal off the hose, creating a vacuum seal. In a matter of seconds the pressure can build enough to where your penis will, well, burst, in a way. This can cause lacerations on the head and/or sides of your penis. It can also tear the head off of your penis, or “deglove” it. If you don’t know what deglove means, think about it for a minute. Yes, it can do THAT. So keep your d*ck away from the vacuum and get a girlfriend.

What happens when you put jumper cables on backward?

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