What to Do After a Break Up

After a break up many of us will feel incomplete and alone, this is a very miserable feeling for anyone who has gone through it, or is going through it. The key is to tap into that feeling and learn about ourselves. Really test ourselves and see if we can grow. Breaking up is a sad thing, no matter what the circumstances, but what’s even sadder is the people who break up and not learn anything from the experience (someone who jumps from relationship to relationship without ever stopping and smelling the coffee). A wise man once said that most of the things he learned were learnt in time of sorrow. Take this statement seriously; I can say from personal experience that most of my life understanding came immediately following a rough breakup. Which left me on my own; to ponder what living was really about. For you see, throughout my relationship I constantly had envisioned my future with the person I was with (hahaha, I was so young and dumb at the time), I based my entire future as well as my ambitions around the relationship. I thought I had it all figured out, I dreamt I would eventually open up a nice little café and spend my days working with my partner and constantly falling deeper and deeper in love(how cute, right?). Then all of a sudden when actuality struck and I realized that me and this person were not compatible, and that our relationship would not last, I fell into a deep depression. Then the breakup happened. Oh what a month, it was rough for me, ME, a person who thought he had it all figured out, to have everything crumble right before my eyes. To not have any envisionment of what the future held, this realization was extremely tough to accept. In fact this vision of the future is what often times makes people do things (call your ex at all hours of the night, stalk, and give your hardest effort to try and reconcile the relationship) that they will regret and often times make you cringe in the future.

      So what should you actually do? The simplest of answers would be to just ponder the break up. Try and figure out what went wrong and when, then appreciate the problem that you held (because yes you are responsible) and learn from it. Make a vow to yourself that you won’t do, what you did, again. Whether it be, trying to help your partner overcome their imperfection (drug, sex, abusive addiction, self destruction (might seem like an honorable thing to do, but in the end they will only drag you deeper and deeper into there own self delusion and cause you severe pain and heartache)) or you were simply to busy to maintain a serious relationship. 

      Then once you see the problem and understand it fully, and no longer place blame or fault in either party, but understand that your relationship was simply just not meant to be. You can begin to learn from it. You can begin to learn what kind of women you are actually compatible with and start the search. The choice is yours, stop and learn from your break up, really grow, and I guarantee you

I originally published this article on my site Ideabombs.com