When Someone Insults You, 12 Things to Say Back

When someone insults you, come back with:

1. “Have you always been this way?” (The person will be left wondering what you mean.)
2.  “Are you on medication for that?” Shake your head sadly.
3. “By the way, I’ve heard of a program for people like you. It’s called Effective Communication Skills.”
4. Give a pitying look and ask if you can get the person an aspirin.
5. Ask “Do you always mask insults with humor?” Wait for a response.
6. Pat the person on the shoulder and say: “It’s obvious you are under stress. Is there anything I can do?”
7. Mention an acquaintance of yours who is always putting others down and make the observation that people who do this obviously suffer from low self-esteem.
8. Thank the person profusely for pointing out what’s wrong with you and lay it on thick until the person gets uncomfortable.
9. Laugh (purposely misunderstand) and confide that you are going to tell all your friends about their silly remark.
10. Use a silent comeback: give a big yawn and glance at your watch. (They see that their remark failed to  spark a reaction.).
11. “We are so alike in some ways, aren’t we?” (This witty comeback is particularly effective if someone has made an insulting remark about your weight.).
12. Ask the person to repeat what they just said. Then ask them to enlarge on it. Tell them you still don’t quite get it and keep asking for more details.