It is difficult to accept rejections or have our imperfections and vulnerabilities flaunt before our very eyes mercilessly. Accepting my imperfections forced me to acknowledge that no one is perfect, not even a potential lover.
Why letting go of the narcissist is hard! How I let go!
An outsider often wonders why a sensible, intelligent and perceivable confident woman will allow someone as parasitic as an abusive man to haul her through the mud over and over again. The most addled context is when the woman grovels, begs and encourages the abuse by refusing to leave the relationship and entices the man back if and when he leaves.
Women who find it difficult to leave relationships with abusive man are basically emotionally over dependent in a relationship. Some codependent women embrace notions of romantic idealism are also unable to let go of a narcissist in a relationship.
It is very easy to chastise someone who we perceived are not doing what is right. It takes someone who has a similar experience to understand the intricacies and gravities of a relationship with a narcissistic man who appears to be normal, charming and sane on the outside.
The best remedy for the pain, attachment and blinded love that you feel for the narcissist is to reconnect with yourself, discovering that you do not need someone’s else emotional investment to feel happy. Letting go of the narcissist will not bring immediate pain and solace but overtime a woman will learn to become less dependent on his companionship or emotional input for happiness, love and life. You should follow your heart and do more of what you love and you will become less emotionally dependent and tied to the narcissist.
The emotional distress a woman experiences may force her to return to the narcissist as a place of solace and familiarity. One of the most difficult reasons why women don’t leave is because they are afraid of starting over. Let go and start again taking in the best of what happened and start rebuilding your life from it. I learnt many elementals of my personality that I did not know before I met a narcissist. I did not know how impulsive, indulgent and mollycoddling I was often at my own expense. I did not realize I was a sycophant and how fragile my self esteem and confidence were, until I met him.