Bonkers Over Conkers: Crazy Cardiff Criminals and Cheesy Chat Ups

Nobody would have been the wiser if it hadn’t been for the vigilance of a passer by who, prior to the robbery, had seen a BMW around the area and had instantly been drawn to it as it had an unusual personalised licence plate J4MES!!  He’d seen a man lean out of the car and lift a drain cover and, thinking it suspicious had reported it to the police.  One of the drain covers at the scene of the crime was later identified by a highway worker as being the one which the star witness had seen being removed.

It didn’t take long before the owner of the BMW was traced and the police paid a visit to the ‘heist hideaway’ of James and Wayne Snell and found them to be in possession of £30,000 in cash!  If only the robbers had driven up in a rusty old banger, the passer by probably would have put the lifting of the drain cover down to a ‘boys night out’ prank and the ’Cardiff crims’ may have got away with it.

Nice work boys!

N

My final tale isn’t a crime one although, from a woman’s point of view, it probably should be!  

I discovered from the Daily Express that 6 out of 10 women still fall for cute and comic chat up lines but if you’re a guy looking out for a date, just don’t take this banter to extremes.

Apparently some of the worst chat up lines that are sure to turn away even the most desperate females out for a good time are:

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

Apart from being beautiful, what do you do for a living?

Do you have a map? Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.

Is there a rainbow, because you’re the treasure I’ve been searching for?

As for me, the two worst chat up lines I received (way back in the late 1970s/early 1980s I hasten to add!) were firstly from a good looking and obviously relatively wealthy guy – complete with designer suit and seen getting out of a bright red, extremely sleek looking Lotus Elite – who came up behind me when I was at the juke box in my local pub, pinched my bum and, on my turning round said in an extremely well honed English accent “as you can probably tell I’m extremely rich so would you care for a spin in my Lotus”!!  Tempting – but not quite the long term relationship I was looking for!

Living very close to the local RAF Station when I was younger, it was hard to avoid meeting up with RAF personnel (in fact, I’ve ended up with one of them!) and once or twice a year the station would have air shows.  By coincidence, my 21st birthday took place on the day before one of these air shows so,  having met up with my friends in my local, I wasn’t surprised to find it ‘heaving with hunks’.  Once it became known that it was my 21st birthday I was surrounded by congratulations and offers of drinks but one guy thought he’d try his luck.  He asked me if I intended to go to the air show the next day.  I told him that I didn’t need to as I got a wonderful view from my back garden.  He followed this up with “I’d make it worth your while.  I’m a helicopter pilot and I’d love the opportunity to show you my big yellow chopper”!  Now that was an offer I wish I had taken up 30 years on!!