Could You be a Target for Stalking?

My second (recurring) stalking incident was my ex husband.  After 4 unhappy years of marriage and abuse, I plucked up the courage to leave my husband and divorce him.  Unfortunately he did not want to get divorced, so he stalked me to the point that I had to go into hiding for 6 years.  People who have read my other articles, will also know he is still trying to get back in touch with me, despite us having been divorced for over 12 years!

My third stalking, was another stranger and again was on another bus!  This time I did not engage conversation with him – but he must have overheard a conversation I had with my friend, as he started to “coincidentally bump” into me at various places on a regular basis.  One example, was when I was attending a weekend study course at a library.  I happened to spot him, as I approached the library – so I changed direction, deliberately walked through a busy shopping precinct, before doubling back to go to the library.  Just as I was about to enter the computer room on the second floor – I saw him enter the doors on the ground floor of the library.  It was at this point I realised that he must have overheard my conversation on the bus, so knew where I was going!  I had to run up to the top floor of the library, hide behind a pillar and call the police so he could be removed!

My fourth stalking, was another ex partner.  I had only dated him for a short while, and I realised that it was never going to work out, so I tried to end the relationship.  What I didn’t realise was that he wasn’t going to take it very well..  He started to wait outside my place of work, with a view of trying to see me at lunchtime.  He would hide in trees or bushes, and leap out at me, begging for me to go out with him again.  He then started to get violent, and on one occasion when I tried to call the police he snatched my phone out of my hand, snapped it in two and then tried to hit me.  Fortunately a member of the public witnessed the event and called the police and he was arrested and charged with assault.

I have always considered myself to be a careful person – but now I tremendously vigilant.  With all of the social networking tools out there such as Facebook and Twitter, it’s very easy for stalkers to look for potential targets.

My advice to you is to be careful and be aware of the information that you are sharing. 

• Do not give out personal information over the Internet, which could catch a stalkers eye. 
• Be careful of who you speak to when you are out and about – especially if you are public transport and are making phone calls – you never know who is listening to your conversation, or what their motives are. 
• If you walk, to and from work – change your routine.  If you can take different routes, do so and alternate them.  Leave at slightly different times in the morning – try not to stick to one routine – it may not be safe.
• If you go out and socialise at night, go with friends.  If someone you have never met before, starts asking lots of questions – be wary, and do not divulge too much personal information about yourself such as where you live, phone number or email details etc.

I don’t want to scare you, and I don’t want you not to have fun – I just want you to be safe.  So please take care and stay aware.