Domestic Violence: Women as the Abusers and Men as the Victims

Women compensate for their size when engaged in domestic violence by using weapons. In 6,200 domestic abuse cases, 86 percent of women who assaulted men used a weapon of some kind or another such as guns, knives, boiling water, bricks, fireplace pokers, and baseball bats. Only about one-fourth of men who assaulted women have been known to use a weapon of some kind. The majority of the men used their fists, palms, as their weapon(s) of choice.

The abuses committed-and untold-by women are wide scale. Women are responsible for one-third of the sexual abuse of boys . Women are very well known to pressure men on emotional levels by saying things such as, “If you do not do it, you are not the man I thought you were”, or, “I will take you for everything you are worth and leave you with nothing”. Women know exactly how to get men to do what they want them to do, as well as when they want them to do it at any given time. If the men refuse, they are then physically and mentally abused. The outside world is left with the assumption that men are never and could never be victims of this. Thus, domestic violence against men goes unrecognized. If the men somehow muster up enough courage to tell someone or ask others for help, they are ridiculed and dismissed. If charges were made by the men, our justice system sweeps it under the rug with a great deal of harassment to go along with it.

Richard J. Gelles was accurate when he stated in an article that was published in The Woman’s Quarterly “…it is necessary to reframe as something other than a “gender crime” or example of “patriarchal coercive control”.” By always assuming the female is the “victim” and the male is the “offender” we, as a society, will be unable to come to a solution to this tragedy . By always offering the women help and ultimately arresting the men, the financial burden of this issue will continue as well.

If women hate the idea that only men can be strong, they had better reject the myth that only women can be gentle. If women aspire to lead, it is time they take responsibility for their own capacity to abuse and victimize others. Most have grown weary of this long, drawn-out gender war. Besides, men do not look as scary as they did ten to twenty years ago. Today, they just look like people walking down the street that you meet every day of your life and never give a second thought to whom they may or may not be or even what their life story entails. The next one you pass could possibly be hiding this awful secret of being abused.