Comments on: How to Get Rid of or Prevent Manipulation http://socyberty.com/crime/how-to-get-rid-of-or-prevent-manipulation/ Mon, 20 Feb 2012 08:19:38 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: realangel http://socyberty.com/crime/how-to-get-rid-of-or-prevent-manipulation/comment-page-1/#comment-73197 realangel Thu, 02 Apr 2009 15:07:39 +0000 http://socyberty.com/crime/how-to-get-rid-of-or-prevent-manipulation/#comment-73197 It is really hard to just "deal" with this stuff and get over it. It does make you paranoid about who you are meeting and where. I am going through a divorce. He is the one who left but he is the one causing problems now. You just never know who it will be or what to watch for. My soon-to-be didn't seem like the type at all and now I've had to file another protection order and have his guns taken away. It can be scarry. They couldn't find him to serve him so I told his attorney twice that I didn't want any contact with him and gave him a copy of the protection order. I was still contacted by him, on email and he called the father of my twins to talk to him about me. Do they think that isn't contact? It is really hard to just “deal” with this stuff and get over it. It does make you paranoid about who you are meeting and where. I am going through a divorce. He is the one who left but he is the one causing problems now. You just never know who it will be or what to watch for. My soon-to-be didn’t seem like the type at all and now I’ve had to file another protection order and have his guns taken away. It can be scarry. They couldn’t find him to serve him so I told his attorney twice that I didn’t want any contact with him and gave him a copy of the protection order. I was still contacted by him, on email and he called the father of my twins to talk to him about me. Do they think that isn’t contact?

]]> By: Another Stalking Survivor http://socyberty.com/crime/how-to-get-rid-of-or-prevent-manipulation/comment-page-1/#comment-73191 Another Stalking Survivor Wed, 01 Apr 2009 03:44:05 +0000 http://socyberty.com/crime/how-to-get-rid-of-or-prevent-manipulation/#comment-73191 Wow! I'm almost tempted you ask you what your stalker's name was because he sounds so similar to the one I had when I was in my 20s! Totally ignored the restraining order--when the person is mentally ill enough to stalk, they aren't thinking straight enough to care what a legal document says. Like you, I had to move, buy a non-descript car (and I SOOO loved my bright red sports car, dammit!) and change jobs. I had to be so, so careful, everywhere I went and make sure no one followed me home. I moved to a totally secure building where you had to have a key to even get into the hallway of my apartment in addition to the key on my apartment. I always varied my route and if I even suspected he might be following me, I wouldn't go home until I felt safe to do so. When I started dating again, I was so paranoid that I would only meet in a public place, took the same caution of a different route home and wouldn't even give out my phone number. I made the guy give me his and it was MY choice whether and when I called or not. This was all 15 years ago and I STILL have nightmares about this guy occasionally. Unless you've lived the nightmare, you can never possibly know what its like.<br /> <br /> On behalf of all survivors, I request that if you know someone who has been stalked, don't tell them to "just get over it" and "move on" no matter how long ago it may have happened. You can't possibly comprehend what its like to be someone's prey and just how deeply it can damage you psychologically. Wow! I’m almost tempted you ask you what your stalker’s name was because he sounds so similar to the one I had when I was in my 20s! Totally ignored the restraining order–when the person is mentally ill enough to stalk, they aren’t thinking straight enough to care what a legal document says. Like you, I had to move, buy a non-descript car (and I SOOO loved my bright red sports car, dammit!) and change jobs. I had to be so, so careful, everywhere I went and make sure no one followed me home. I moved to a totally secure building where you had to have a key to even get into the hallway of my apartment in addition to the key on my apartment. I always varied my route and if I even suspected he might be following me, I wouldn’t go home until I felt safe to do so. When I started dating again, I was so paranoid that I would only meet in a public place, took the same caution of a different route home and wouldn’t even give out my phone number. I made the guy give me his and it was MY choice whether and when I called or not. This was all 15 years ago and I STILL have nightmares about this guy occasionally. Unless you’ve lived the nightmare, you can never possibly know what its like.

On behalf of all survivors, I request that if you know someone who has been stalked, don’t tell them to “just get over it” and “move on” no matter how long ago it may have happened. You can’t possibly comprehend what its like to be someone’s prey and just how deeply it can damage you psychologically.

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