Victims of Crimes Need Justice

Have you ever been a victim of a horrific crime? If you have been did you get justice or do you feel like you got justice? Do you really think the Department of Criminal Justice system is there to protect you from criminals? These are some really important questions to consider and seek your own answers for. As for me I have been a victim of a few horrific crimes, and even though the Department of Criminal Justice thought they did everything they could to give me justice they DID NOT get me justice or even made me feel like there was any justice. In fact they may feel like the Department of Criminal Justice works in favor of the Criminals and NOT the Victim.

When I was only 14 yrs. old I was rapped by a 21 yr. old college student. No, I did not know him, and yes I fought with everything I had including biting, kicking, and screaming at the top of my lungs, but it seemed like the more I fought back the more he enjoyed it. I am currently 35 yrs. old and it has taken me many years to talk about this, but if there is anything that I have learned in all my years of therapy is that the more I talk about it the more I heal, and the more I can help others that have been victims as well.

I was just a small 110lbs girl that had something sacred taken from me by a 180lb 6 foot man that knew right from wrong but did not care what he was taking from me and what it would do to me for the rest of my life. They say rape is all about the “Power/Control”, and not the sexual act itself, and it took me a long time to understand this, but they are right. They want to have that control or power over you, and even though you may never see your rapist again (if you are lucky you won’t) they still have control or power over you and your future life. They have control or power over you by making you scared of everyone you met, they have control or power over you by making you not go out late at night or go anywhere without a friend, family member or group of people. They have control or power over the amount of sleep you get, because every time you close your eyes you see your rapist or the act of the rape happening all over again. They have control or power over the things you smell and you do not even realize this until one day a smell of food, cologne, flowers, etc. bring back those vivid images and you re-live it all over again. They have control or power over your heart, your soul, and your trust because it takes a long time to be able to let yourself ever trust anyone enough to love completely and to share your soul with. They have control or power over your entire life ONLY if you let them.

What do I mean by this? Even though it will take time and therapy to heal the wounds inflicted by the rapist, just know that the sooner you seek help, the sooner you talk about it, and the sooner you report it to the police the sooner you give up the Power or Control your rapist has on you.

Even though I am greatly disappointed with the Department of Criminal Justice, people still need to report their crimes. Just because I reported my rapist and he basically walked dose not mean I have given up on Justice. You see a few months after I reported the rape I found out I was pregnant, and even though I still had time to abort the pregnancy I couldn’t. I could not kill an innocent baby; I could not give this baby up for adoption for 2 reasons. One reason is because I would always have those thoughts of “What If?” The second reason is because I found out that they biological father would have rights to the baby if I had it and gave it up for adoption.