Is your ex-spouse being uncoperative about visits with your kids after filing for divorce? Here are something you can do to stop it.
Custody and visitation, this is really where the rubber hits the road in most divorces. Nothing, absolutely nothing, can be as contentious, hurtful and downright nasty as custody fights are in a great number of divorces. Custody and child visitation is the #1 emotional stick people will use to beat their ex over the head with. If you ask anyone who has been through a divorce involving children, an overwhelming majority will tell you that visitation and custody was the issue that caused more stress and hurt feelings than any other part of the process.
In the first few weeks one of you will have likely moved out, and until you go to court there will be no binding visitation order. This is a critical time and what you do, or fail to do, can have effects that last many, many years and will affect not only you but your children as well. One possible strategy is, if you are able to talk civilly with the other person, to hammer out a visitation agreement between the two of you and write it up. While this has no legal standing, it does often work as a temporary measure until the court orders a binding schedule.
Sadly, many use the kids as a weapon to hurt their ex because they know it is one sure way to really put the screws to them. If this is the situation you find yourself in during your divorce, it is time for you to get proactive. It is time to start documenting everything in detail, preferably in some sort of hard bound journal or other permanent medium. Do not trust this data to a computer or other digital device with the potential for failure and data loss.
Start off by suggesting directly, or through a third-party, that you both sit down and come up with an interim visitation schedule that will work for both of you. If the other party refuses, document how you communicated your request, the date, time and their response. From now on you will be wise to begin keeping copious notes on every interaction you have with your ex-spouse.
After the initial time a visit with your children is refused, request to see your child(ren) every day that the standard visitation schedule in your state would give you if you had a court order. You can find the standard schedule on-line or go to your local county courthouse and you can get a copy there.
Every time you make the request document, time, date and their response. If you go in to court later with weeks worth of denied visitation documented in your journal the judge is not likely to look kindly on the other parent. Judges tend not to like it when a parent is abusing their kids in such a way, and it is definitely child abuse.