After Dad Died and the Uphill Struggle of my Mum

You might be thinking what a dramatic person I am?  Maybe that’s true, but when you go through such turmoil with any member of the family, I know for me the only way to come to terms with this was to write everything down. I do hope that others in this position or nearing it can read this and have a greater understanding.

After my dad died my life turned upside down gone went the strong person who lifted dad, gone was the optimist who looked on the bright side of everything. My dad was gone and it hit me as we went to his funeral, he was in a box with flowers on the top going somewhere to be burnt.

This was not at all logical at the time, why would it be, but we got in to the crematorium and the ‘mommas and poppas’ blared out from the speakers Monday Monday a tune dad loved, he always sang along to it on his way to work.

The vicar started to talk about dad I think. Of course at this point I decided to walk out, my sister coming after me telling me it was ok and that the man in the (box) was not dad any more. Well where was he then?

I came back in  and sort of remember reading out a letter about my dad all the wonderful things he had done, and said goodbye putting a blue carnation on the (box) the colours of his football team.

The vicar then wound it up and said how dad loved Morecambe and wise the two comedians, and while he said this, the blue curtain slowly came around the (box).  

He finished with a line the duo always said at the end of the show. ‘The shows not over till the fat lady sings.’

Then the music of bring me sunshine rang out, and you could imagine Morecambe and wise coming up the aisle, that’s if you are familiar with the show.

Dad got the send off he always wanted no hymns, funny things said about him and his beloved comedians to see him out.

I only remember this because I wrote everything down later after the funeral, when I went on the sick from work for three months.

It’s strange I was so strong for him never faulted at all took on the cancer like it was me going through the treatment, but when he had gone, my heart broke and I couldn’t function with everyday things. I lost weight, and if it hadn’t been for the kids I would have sunk into oblivion.