As I See It: Viewings and Funerals
by About the viewings for two of three boys killed in an automobile accident last week were held today, and the reasoning behind why I took my boys and why I felt that it was important to their development as young men.
I don’t think there are very many people that can truly say that they like to go to viewings or funerals. I personally would rather stay away from both. However, there are times that you must either attend either one or the other. Given a choice I would prefer to go to the viewing.
In the case of the teenagers that were killed in the car crash last week, I felt that it was important for the boys to go to at least the viewing. This would allow the boys to have some sort of closure. The viewing I felt was enough and shouldn’t have been a terrible experience due to the fact that they were surrounded by people who care for them. They weren’t forced to stay, and we left as soon as I felt composed enough to leave the church.
The key being that I felt that my boys could handle the viewing. For their age, they have been to more than their fair share, and they do understand the principle of death. They also realize that this is their last chance to say good bye. I would never force the boys to go; I may urge them, but I would never say that it was necessary. I think they understand the importance and gravity of the situation.
The funeral, in my eyes is a little harder to handle. I think my problem arises when the casket is over or lowered into the grave. I think the finality sets in and I am not able to cope with this at that particular moment. I think that is why I would not ask the boys to attend the funeral. I don’t think that is part of the service that they need to be subjected to at this point. I think I would like to protect their innocence a little longer; they have grown up enough over the past several days to last a couple of more years.
What I have done with my children may not be the appropriate thing for all children. We, as parents, tend to shelter our children, especially when we feel it may be detrimental to their growing up. We tend not to subject them to things that may in turn color or shorten their childhood. To some extent, that may be acceptable; but I would rather give them doses of reality in small quantities than overload the system at a point somewhere down the line. There will come a time for them to grow up, but given in small doses, I hope that I can extend their childhood a little more.
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