Dealing with Death

“People who say not to speak ill of the dead are hypocrites, because you can take it to the bank they are thinking ill.”

Which is so true.  Even if it’s just anger at the loved one for dying on you it’s still thinking ill of them.  Say it, even if it’s only to yourself & your chosen deity, but admit the ill you are thinking.  Because if you don’t it’s harder to remember the good about the dead, & that is what you ultimately want to remember.  Honesty compels me to admit that not all people are going to remember & be angry about the same things, nor are all the dead going to leave behind a lot of happy memories, while others will leave behind nothing but happy memories.  What you remember may not be perceived the same way by your Aunt, friend, cousin, Mother, etc..  So although I am encouraging you to be honest about your feelings & talk them out you also must remember that not everyone will have the same reaction that you do.  That said it follows that you should be tactful while expressing your feelings, & if you don’t feel comfortable expressing them to your family & friends, then write them down in a letter to the person you have lost or to the deity of your choice, then tuck it away in a safe place to pull out in a 6 months to a year to reread & see how your feelings have changed, & to understand why you are or are not angry & thinking bad things about the deceased at this latter point in time.