Death

How is one supposed to cope with death?  Once we’re gone, we’re gone.  There’s no turning back, no second chance, no opportunity to plead forgiveness or change lives…  But when we’re alive, and someone else’s life ends, what are we to do?  

Many people go through stages of grief, (aka the Kübler-Ross model) which are: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. 

In the denial stage, which is typically short-lived, one finds it hard to believe that their loved one is truly gone.  They may find it unreal and make statements that are not fully coherent.  Also, those who dwell in the denial phase may develop psychological problems or troubles.  Using the “empty chair” exercise may help these people get their emotions out.

Following the denial stage is the anger stage, which pretty much speaks for itself.  The given individual may misdirect their anger and sadness on another loved one who has not done anything.  There are typically many triggers that can set them off, so be cautious around those in this phase, they are very sensitive.

The stage of bargaining is when the individual tries to ’set up’ an arrangement with God or whatever they believe in.  It’s the stereotypical, “I’ll never do ______ again, God, just do this one thing for me…”  This stage, like denial, is short-lived.

The strongest, and probably longest lasting stage is depression.  This could go on anywhere from a few days to an entire lifetime!  Depression is a hard feeling to deal with, especially if someone has been diagnosed with depression previously.  In this time, it is important to remind the individual that it is perfectly okay to mourn and to cry, but not to dwell on the circumstances.  Remind them that life will go on for them, and they should live their lives as fully as they can.

The final stage is acceptance.  This is the phase where the individual comes to terms with what has happened and realizes that they will be alright and should continue with their lives.  Few people may never hit this stage, but all should be encouraged to.  

In conclusion, I will quote the movie, Tuesdays with Morrie: “Dying is the only one thing to be sad about.  Living unhappily is something else”.  And with that said, I highly recommend this movie.  Some may find it cheesy, but it teaches some great life lessons and I found it highly entertaining!