Grief and Loss

A lot of this anger is hard to express and can often lead to suppression and depression. I think it is important for those who have grieved to go easy on themselves and even more important for those around them to offer their full support. This is not always easy as depressed people are usually unwilling to share, making communicate difficult. It is common to feel as though the subject is taboo and that no one wants to hear your story, that it is a burden to the listener and unfair to unload an extreme amount of negative emotions onto the shoulders of a friend. Therefore a lot of people chose to retract emotionally, allowing unresolved thoughts and feelings to be pushed to the side, or to the bottom of the pile. This can lead to a pattern of suppression as every time those feelings resurface in order to be processed, the mind pushes them back down labelling them “bad” thoughts. This is an incredibly unhealthy cycle as it is the job of the sub conscious to ensure these negative energies are released similar to the way the liver cleans your body of toxins. Unresolved negative emotions create a build up of negative patterns in the brain along with constant chemical releases that create hormones of anger, guilt, fear, anxiety and stress. These are the long term negative effects I talk of. Unless dealt with properly, these side effects could go on for years preventing the person from experiencing healthy relationships and closing them off to feelings of love, warmth and support. Often loosing someone puts extreme pressure on all coping mechanisms of the body in this way.

All of us will all at sometimes in our life experience loss. Death is apart of life as life is apart of us. It is important to remember that there is no one way to go about grieving, that everyone does it differently. Be aware that a person who has suffered loss is forever changed and that it is just as hard to understand them as it is for them to understand themselves. It is normal to feel afraid, insecure and scared for many years after the event. That some people will always fear losing the ones they love and may feel resilient to let love in again. So please be patient with those who have lost. Pain of loss is a healing process and a process that is delicate, long term and forever proposing new learning’s. There is no manual to coping with loss and it is something that will continually pop up as the grieved learn to bind their old relationships and lives with the new person they have learnt to become.