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The Funniest Accidents and Emergencies… You Judge

Every year the Accident and Emergency Department of every hospital gets thousands upon thousands of calls and quite a few actual patients besides. Here are some of the more bizarre and strange incidents which have graced our hospitals.

A man has waited 4 hours in the A and E waiting room for a doctor to confirm his worst fears. His new shoes were giving him blisters.

One very determined man set about committing suicide. He swallowed copious amounts of vodka and a few nitroglycerin pills to boot. When he was questioned about the bruises all over his head, he told the attending doctor he was ramming his head against the wall to get the nitroglycerin to explode.

Another man made an emergency call to tell the hospital he had cut himself shaving. When admitted to the A and E department, the cut had stopped bleeding completely.

Every year the Accident and Emergency teams find things inserted ‘accidently’ in the most bizarre of places. These include but are not limited to: a shaving cream can, a pair of reading glasses, a curling iron, a salami round, a baseball and a frozen pig’s tail. In the attempt to ‘rescue’ a lightbulb from one patient a very resourceful doctor resorted to suction cup darts, baby oil and three inflatable balloon catheters in the race to remove it.

The most non emergency visit ever came from a man who entered the A and E at 2am in the morning with a nasty case of belly button lint.

Then there is the tale of the man who wanted to play Father Christmas so badly he jumped down the chimney, tying a rope around his waist for safety attached to the family car. It was all going swimmingly until his wife got in the car and drove off.

The most entertaining call is that of a woman who rang the A and E to determine how long to cook her Christmas turkey. The triage nurse informed her it was hardly an emergency call, but the lady shot back “If I don’t cook it properly we’ll all get food poisoning and then it WILL be your problem”.

A middle aged woman had been admitted to the A and E department complaining of abdominal pain. The doctors were hardly surprised when they pulled a whole chicken out, piece by piece, from her vagina. As she had been unable to have children she was hoping the chicken would turn into a baby.

Accidents and Emergencies often take on bizarre forms when common household appliances are misused. The most favourite by far (among men) is the common vacuum cleaner. Men tend to find they have a very ‘satisfying’ experience with the good old hoover, although not much cleaning ever seems to be undertaken. Needless to say if it all goes wrong and things get stuck… you’re going to look mighty silly in the A and E waiting room. One man had driven across two states to find a hospital to make sure his tale was never making it back home. Ouch.

The moral of this story is…  do you know, I haven’t the faintest idea! Don’t play with vacuum cleaners?

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User Comments
  1. corecz

    On February 4, 2011 at 11:40 am

    hah :D funny post !! thanks

  2. sunnykumar786

    On February 4, 2011 at 11:49 am

    nice share i also write some articles on this . Read those from my profile


  3. smidggy

    On February 4, 2011 at 11:52 am

    It goes to show you how crazy people really are. Great share!

  4. Mystical Whitewolf

    On February 4, 2011 at 12:14 pm

    People do the dumbest things, most to just get attention. Great post…

  5. The Quail 1957

    On February 4, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    Awesome article! The lady and the chicken which refused to turn into a baby, kind of got me thinking, that maybe she should of called up col.Sanders of Kentucky Fried Chicken and put in an order for original recipe. lol

  6. lowellhenderson

    On February 4, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    Very well done article…good job.

  7. lmonline

    On February 4, 2011 at 1:48 pm

    Good article. Good job.

  8. bhaswati

    On February 4, 2011 at 1:50 pm

    lol these are hilarious. I pity the guys in A & E. awesome work :D

  9. TrevorS

    On February 4, 2011 at 2:38 pm

    They say that truth is stranger than fiction! This proves it! Good article Ann!!

  10. leo604

    On February 4, 2011 at 2:46 pm

    nice share i never heard of that

  11. tonywriter

    On February 4, 2011 at 3:56 pm

    ha ha LOL WE are mad :O :O :O 8-) :) :) Very funny article mate, U made my day ;)

  12. Inna Tysoe

    On February 4, 2011 at 5:29 pm

    Thanks for that.

  13. GameLive

    On February 4, 2011 at 9:09 pm

    well written,……………………….

  14. lapasan

    On February 4, 2011 at 9:33 pm

    These are really funny stories.

  15. Ima Vee

    On February 4, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    LOL… love that Father Christmas one… I wonder what he looked like after… :-]

  16. Judy Sheldon

    On February 5, 2011 at 12:35 am

    I have heard and seen some amazing things which have happened in the emergency room. They used to have a television series called ER. Some were really sad and some hilarious. Great job at putting this one together.

  17. rajaryanme

    On February 5, 2011 at 6:58 am

    Ha…ha interesting topics you covered.

  18. tiffi

    On February 5, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    Very funny! Thank for the share!

  19. GameLive

    On February 5, 2011 at 10:24 pm

    funny post

  20. lillyrose

    On February 7, 2011 at 11:56 am

    These are funny but very believable. My sister in-law is an A&E sister she could have told a few stories.

  21. Bella White

    On February 7, 2011 at 4:03 pm

    The chicken and the lady….. now talk about bestiality. I think she wanted more than just a chicken. Call me weird but there’s more to the story than that.

  22. Geny

    On February 8, 2011 at 1:21 am

    thanks for sharing

  23. Elvin Aliyev

    On February 8, 2011 at 6:26 pm

    nice read)

  24. genicuta

    On February 21, 2011 at 10:09 am

    nice share

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