The Long Term Effects After Grieving: Helping You Understand Those Who Have Suffered Loss

Either way there is a large part of grieving that is unexpected and unexplained. These parts are the mental and emotional damages, fears, anxiety, anger and depression that the grieved are left to deal with long after the tragedy ahs taken place. All of these things are the post traumatic effects of loss.

What happens to someone who has suffered loss?

It is a common belief that a tragedy is something that happens, you process, move through and eventually adapt to and “get over”. While this is the general path an aggrieved person takes it doesn’t necessarily mean that after a year or so that person has returned back to their “normal” self. Death and tragedy is not a matter of being broken and fixed but more a matter of that person learning how to incorporate the experience into who they are. The loss of loosing that special person becomes an adaptation, not a recovery; they are not “broken” but “changed”. It is therefore important to allow people the lee way to find room in their character and personality to incorporate this change.

Heightened sensitivity

One significant change that can occur is a sense of heightened sensitivity to the fragility and insecurity of love and life. People who have suffered loss may feel more compassion for human kind, life is not so concrete. They may become more aware of peoples feelings and feel angry when people are insensitive to each other.

Fear

The insecurity of an upset life turns into deep set fears and anxieties. These include:

• Fears of loosing other people you love
• The fear of being abandoned, left alone and/or separated from love
• The feeling of not having control over your life
• Feeling anxious and insecure
• The loss of control and feelings of helplessness

All of these e difficulties can cause the grieved person to become scared of love affecting their relationships and distorting their views on the world. It is normal to feel afraid, insecure and scared for many years after the event. Some grieved people will always fear losing the ones they love and may feel resilient to let love in again.

Anger

Anger is an emotion strongly embedded in loss. It is common to feel angry at the world; as if it has stolen unfairly from you and that it is cruel and cold. Loss provokes questions such as “why me?”, “why them?” and feelings of “it”s not fair!”. It is set off easily and often expresses itself in unexpected ways. The griever has to learn where to put these feelings and how to deal with them.