The Post Bereavement Healing Process
by A look at how the bereaved can be supported during their most difficult moments. Factors like an understanding spirit,kind words, a listening ear, and a shoulder to lean on are discussed.
My heart goes out to all the families that are currently hurting as a result of losing their loved ones and are trying to go forward. It is never a welcomed feeling.
Only those who have the experience can properly describe the feeling and I remember the reaction of my wife when she placed her two nephews on a bus, and a few hours later she was called by her sister and told that one of them had been tragically killed by a car driven by a doctor.
The next three months was one of grief for the entire family as the child’s father became hateful, aggressive, confrontational, dismissive, and very tearful at times.
His wife on he other hand was quite the opposite except for the tears. One day in particular I laid my hands on her and felt a heavy weight being transmitted to me that almost overwhelm my spirit. Depression especially from bereavement can be quite a heavy load was my thought at the time.
My wife on the other hand acted like she was dead to everything, she was almost totally useless in the house for a number of months.
However fifteen years later the healing process has advanced to the point that both families can have quality fellowship reciprocally in each others house at different times.
I lost a niece in child’s birth and a sister ten years apart and the hurt from both of them were quite strong and brought out anger, retaliation, tears, regrets, and forgiveness.
The last bereavement helped to unify the family as we strive to honor our departed loved one.
We thought carefully what she would like us to do if she was alive and decided that we need to be more united and forgive each other of past wrongs.
Today there are signs of progress and we welcome it gratefully.
Families facing bereavement need all the support they can get to pass over. A kind thought, a hug ,a short telephone call saying I am thinking about you, be strong, or just being with them physically , can do a world of good.
The wife, children, or mother suffering the greatest loss are should be carefully watched and supported so that they can be protected from any impulsive tendencies.
These are the times when suicidal tendencies can be entertained, so close attention is a pre-requisite.
It is usually hard to suggest but it is important to allow those who are hurting to talk freely without personalizing what they are saying.
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