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        The family gamble is when a family makes a decision if there is actually a loss of a family member. An example of family gamble is making decisions to become emotional ready to part ways with a comatose family member. Is there a chance of recovery? If there is a recovery, what can of quality of life is he or she going to have? Should I make funeral plans (Boss 1999)?
         A researcher describes a father who came down with Alzheimer’s disease at forty years of age. His youngest son was certain that he would contract Alzheimer’s disease at an earlier age too. Thoughts of what kind of life he would have, or the life his own family would have if he chose to marry and have children (Boss 1999). The compromise he has to think about is almost impossible to fathom. Should he take the family gamble and realize that there is nothing that he can do to change his father’s situation? Should he grieve now and continue to live out his life that it may be cut short too?
         Research indicates that not all cultures take the family gamble. “because people who form families together often come from different backgrounds, they may have different ideas about how or when to gamble” (Boss 1999 p.103). Boss (1999) further describes a North American Indian woman that believes elderly people with dementia has come full circle in their life. This is just a function of a full life.

     For the family who is struggling with ambiguous loss and can’t compromise or take the family gamble, time will have to do this for them. Compromising may not be the option, but spending as much quality time with the person may ease the grieving process. I chose not to grieve until after I know that my loved one is truly gone. Boss (1999) states “Some families insist on treatment to keep their loved one alive despite knowing that the illness is terminal” (p.98).  Open communication the terminally ill loved one may ease the ambiguous loss. Does he or she have a living will, do they wish for the family to move on with the life? These are questions that need to be addressed.

Families struggling with unresolved grief may experience negative responses from outside family, friends and peers. People experiencing unresolved grief can make sense out of an ambiguous situation through strong spirituality and revising family rituals (Boss 1999).

The Allen’s story comes from a research article on Death, Dying and Grief. The Allen family’s chronic stressors are raising Linda who has Down syndrome and lives in a group home in their town. Although Linda lives in a group home and this should be a resource for her parents, she is greatly missed. They are constantly worried about the care she receives.

            Sam and Tina’s oldest daughter Emily is a senior in high school and has a history of using drugs. Emily has been arrested once for possession of a controlled substance. She also is repeating her senior year. She stays out late on school nights and is sexually active. Sam and Linda are chronically stressed about this situation and are at their wits end in what to do. But according to Fischer & Lyness (2005); “moderators such as parent-child relationships and other characteristics of the adolescent could alter these peer-adolescent associations” (p. 163).

            Sam is concerned about his job as a real estate agent in a market that has recently dropped. According to Bartholomae & Fox (2005); “Employment uncertainty refers to the probability of unemployment and can be defined as a person’s perception of the security of his or her current employment and prospects for future employments” (p. 208). Sam and Tina have discussed selling their home and move to an area where he could be more successful in a better real estate market. The problem her is that the children want to keep the house for sentimental reasons.

            There existing resources is Tina’s job as a nurse. Tina can get a job in any community if they decide to sell their house. This would allow Sam to find work in a better real estate market. Within months tragedy hit the Allen family. Carl and the baby were killed in a car accident. Jane was the lone survivor in the accident, but she took months to recover. In this situation according to Murray, Toth, & Clinkinbeard: “Moos’ (1995) model of the interrelationship of processes involving grief tasks of individuals and those of their families highlight the interdependence of family processes and individual perceptions. This model addresses relationships between individual and family grief symptoms, the influence of each family member on a family system’s coping strategies and grief reactions, and the mediating roles of family history, cultural constraints, feedback, and nuclear family functioning” (p.83).

            Although the pain of losing loved ones was overwhelming, Jane came to realize that her family was feeling the same way too. This became of resource of support for Jane.

Emily came to realize that although the death of Carl and the baby was unavoidable and that the way her life was headed, she is destined to meet her maker. She informed her family that she wanted help for her substance addiction and was admitted to an inpatient treatment center. After a 30 day stay, she was returned home on the advice that she follows up with a family therapists who can check on her needs as well as the families’ needs. The family therapists also addressed the loss of Carl and the baby on separate visitation days.

When designing a treatment or prevention plan, singling out treatment and prevention efforts to the individual is virtually ineffective due to the multiple issues that is entangled with substance abuse. Without taping into unresolved issues, treating only the substance abuser still leaves room for sparks to fuel the cycle of abuse (Fischer & Lyness, 2005).

            After initial consultation, the therapists discovers that alcohol and marijuana where often used by the parents when Emily was a child. The biopsychosocial focus applies to the description of Emily’s substance abuse. According to researchers, “a biological alcoholic parent may, among other things, (a) transmit genetic vulnerability; (b) model alcohol abuse; (c) foster the development of alcohol expectancies; (d) introduce stressors into the child and family environment, such as aggressive or violent behavior and marital disruption; and (e) distress the family economically and legally, placing the family in an impoverished and possibly dangerous environment” (Fischer & Lyness 2005, p.157). Emily’s past experience as a child being around drugs and alcohol influence what peers she chooses to hang around with in high school. With the open discussions, the Allen Family came to realize that they can modify their behavior and chose what stressors are relevant or irrelevant in their lives. Although the loss of Carl and the baby may be with them for a life time, they chose to remember them for the positive memories.

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