Unresolved Grief and The Family Gamble
by The family gamble is when a family makes a decision if there is actually a loss of a family member. An example of family gamble is making decisions to become emotional ready to part ways with a comatose family member. Is there a chance of recovery? If there is a recovery, what can of quality of life is he or she going to have? Should I make funeral plans (Boss 1999)?
A researcher describes a father who came down with Alzheimer’s disease at forty years of age. His youngest son was certain that he would contract Alzheimer’s disease at an earlier age too. Thoughts of what kind of life he would have, or the life his own family would have if he chose to marry and have children (Boss 1999). The compromise he has to think about is almost impossible to fathom. Should he take the family gamble and realize that there is nothing that he can do to change his father’s situation? Should he grieve now and continue to live out his life that it may be cut short too?
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The family gamble is when a family makes a decision if there is actually a loss of a family member. An example of family gamble is making decisions to become emotional ready to part ways with a comatose family member. Is there a chance of recovery? If there is a recovery, what can of quality of life is he or she going to have? Should I make funeral plans (Boss 1999)?
A researcher describes a father who came down with Alzheimer’s disease at forty years of age. His youngest son was certain that he would contract Alzheimer’s disease at an earlier age too. Thoughts of what kind of life he would have, or the life his own family would have if he chose to marry and have children (Boss 1999). The compromise he has to think about is almost impossible to fathom. Should he take the family gamble and realize that there is nothing that he can do to change his father’s situation? Should he grieve now and continue to live out his life that it may be cut short too?
Research indicates that not all cultures take the family gamble. “because people who form families together often come from different backgrounds, they may have different ideas about how or when to gamble” (Boss 1999 p.103). Boss (1999) further describes a North American Indian woman that believes elderly people with dementia has come full circle in their life. This is just a function of a full life.
For the family who is struggling with ambiguous loss and can’t compromise or take the family gamble, time will have to do this for them. Compromising may not be the option, but spending as much quality time with the person may ease the grieving process. I chose not to grieve until after I know that my loved one is truly gone. Boss (1999) states “Some families insist on treatment to keep their loved one alive despite knowing that the illness is terminal” (p.98). Open communication the terminally ill loved one may ease the ambiguous loss. Does he or she have a living will, do they wish for the family to move on with the life? These are questions that need to be addressed.
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Post CommentCHAN LEE PENG
On November 3, 2009 at 1:50 pm
Those who’re experiencing unresolved grief should get supporters who’re spiritually strong so that they can be prevented to involve in any negative act. Good piece! Thanks!
Chris Stonecipher
On November 3, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Thank you Chan! Keeping grief bottled up inside puts tremendous stress on the body. A spiritually strong connection helps tremendously.
Goodselfme
On November 3, 2009 at 7:22 pm
WEll composed with important info. With modern technology one can now resolve their thoughts and put them to rest with confirmed tendancy to be pre disposed to some conditions. I am thinking sometimes people don’t know how medicine changes at the blink of an eye.TX friend.
Ruby Hawk
On November 3, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Technology is growing so fast we never know what new discoveries will be made next year, but still its a hard choice.
ZuzannaM
On November 4, 2009 at 12:48 am
This is the hardest for me to deal. Death in a family or even my friends, boss, co-worker, family doctor…etc.. Glad you brought this subject for reading, had better understand how to cope with loss as such!
Thank you,
Zuzanna
kate smedley
On November 5, 2009 at 3:36 am
An excellent article Chris, grief is such a difficult area, I have lost family who were killed suddenly and also seen someone die from a terminal illness. Spiritual strength and faith are so important.
papaleng
On November 5, 2009 at 9:30 am
Another well-researched and presented article. good info. thanks for sharing Chris.
Lauren Axelrod
On November 5, 2009 at 10:43 pm
Those that experience grief should have friends like you.
qasimdharamsy
On January 4, 2010 at 11:07 am
well written…thanks for sharing….
Jenny Heart
On March 19, 2010 at 11:42 am
Agree with Chan. Need spiritual loving supporters. Excellent one!