I want to tell you a story about the forgotten children in our society.  The disabled children.  The children that most people refuse to acknowledge because if they do, they’re faced with emotions they don’t understand, or they’re just plain scared it will happen to them because they believe disabilities are contagious.  Well, let me tell you, being hit by a drunk driver at the age of four months and suffering a severe head trauma is not contagious.  It’s heartbreaking.  It’s sad and it makes me so damn angry that my daughter’s precious life was taken from her in the blink of an eye, and it makes me furious that people won’t even try to understand what her life could have been like if the accident hadn’t happened and the pain I feel everyday because it did.  If only we’d been in a different place, at a different time, none of it would have happened, but we weren’t and it di

Amber is a beautiful 22 year old child, who many admonish me for calling her a child, when really she’s an adult, but I don’t care.She will always be a baby to me because she only has a 6 month learning ability.  She can’t talk, makes cooing sounds, and grunts when she’s unhappy.  She may look a little different because she has the distinguishing features that come along with being disabled.  Nevertheless, she loves to be touched on the hand.  It lets her know someone is with her.  When the drunk driver hit us head-on, he not only destroyed Amber’s brain cells, but as a result of her head trauma she suffers from a V-P Shunt, hydrocephalus, encephalitus, cortical blindness, cerebral palsy, a seizure disorder including grand and petite mals, aspiration (liquid) into her lungs, a nissan wrap, feedings via a g-tube, scoliosis, clonis, and an atrophy of her limbs.  To many she’s just another person society has chosen to overlook, but to us, her family, she is the sunshine in our lives.

It’s always okay to feel empathy for another human being, and it’s okay to feel sorry for their circumstances.  In response to a person’s eagerness to look the other way, and pretend he or she doesn’t see what’s right before their eyes, it’s not okay, and it’s just plain cruel.  Amber may be different on the outside, but on the inside she still has that same biological need to feel loved, to be in touch with her environment, and to develop a routine that works with her schedule.  Everyday people lose touch with what’s truly important in their lives.  They forget to tell someone they love just how truly special they are, and they forget to give their kids that extra vote of confidence, or that extra little hug that shows how much they care.   Children are priceless to us, regarles of their limitations, and we would never trade them for anything God had to offer.

Our children who suffer from physical and mental disabilities are no different.  They’re just as priceless to us as that little boy who continuously hits home runs and makes his father proud.  However, it would be nice if our society stopped ignoring the children and adults who are less fortunate than others.  The reasons for their disabilities are many, but those with disabilities are not to be blamed for being different.  I can’t say it’s okay when people pretend our children are invisible and that they don’t exist.  For the most part, we parents of the disabled have grown immune to society’s rudeness and have chosen to overlook it.  Yet, it still hurts.  When our children are discriminated against we want to scream and shout that it’s just not fair.  If we did, who would listen, and if they did listen, what could they do about it?  Just a simple curtesy of opening a door to help us leave the mall would be a big help.  Has our culture grown so immune to the needs of others that we’ve forgetten we’re supposed to be civilized?

Raising a handicapped child is never easy, but society could help ease our burden by asking organizations and large corporations who have large sums of money for research, to help build, fund, and supply special centers where our children can go to receive therapy. It’s hard work, and there’s rarely anyone around to give you a high five for making it through another difficult day, or sit with you when all you wanna do is have a pity party because nothing went right.  It’s not like raising an ordinary, normal child who can run, walk, sit-up unassisted, or even feed themselves.  My daughter Amber is 22 years old with a 6 month learning ability, but how do I explain to her that the cramps she’s having in her stomach are menstrual cramps because she’s about to get her period.  She has no understanding of what pain is.  Most of our children do not understand pain, they only understand the love and laughter we show them, which is more important than the indifference, disgust, and disapproval society is constantly sending their way.  We will not hide in the shadows, and for those people wo think its a shame for our children to be seen in society, all I’ve got to say to that is “too bad, and we’ll be seeing you” around town.

P.S.  This was written in response to a nasty, hateful woman who told me my daughter would be better off placed in an institution where no one would have to look at her.   That same woman can kiss my you know what!