Letter to Mom About The Economy

Letter to Mom about the Economy

By Joseph Parish

Dear Mom,

I hope you are enjoying your life up there on the moon. It sure was brave of you to volunteer to move away from the earth just at a time when the economy dropped as it did. I thought I would write you and let you know how we are doing here at home.

As you already know our economy has certainly gotten worse in this past year and I have included some reports here to prove that assumption. Instead of merely listing them all I thought I would take you on my rounds with me as I complete my daily routine of errands and tasks. As with any of my usual days I wake early in the morning and check the various activities on my computer.

Today I went to the computer to check my email and found out just how bad our economy actually has become. You remember Billy Gates right? Well he made a few extra dollars in the past with computers but now in an effort to save money he has switched to dial up. Oh by the way, I received some email from Laura. It seems that sis had an exorcism recently but since she had recently lost her job she couldn’t afford to pay for it so they re-possessed her.

Today as I was on my way to the post office I overheard the announcer on the radio comment on how many parents in Beverly Hills have had to fire their Nannies and raise their own children. What a real shame! As a result of our downward economy these mom and dads will finally learned the names of their children. Speaking of Beverley Hills Mom, rumor has it that the hobos in that area now have to drink tap water.

My wife Pam recently approached me about taking a vacation soon and we had considered going to Vegas only to find now that with the economy as it is the “Treasure Island Casino” is now being managed by Somali pirates. As if that were not bad enough they had to build an Indian reservation on the casino to cut costs.

On a more serious note, I heard a report that a truckload of Americans had been caught trying to sneak into Mexico. Naturally they will be deported back to the United States but they will try again. I was recently taken back when I saw a “Sponsor an American Child” commercial on PBS. I certainly hope these rich foreign nations help these children. Even the Ethiopian mothers are now instructing their children to, “Eat all your food! There are lots of kids going hungry in America” I know you’re a great fan of Angelina Jolie and I heard she is now considered adopting an American child because of these hard times that have affected us.