New Retirement Plan

Over the last year, as I watched my 401K, my IRAs, and my real estate holdings decline in value I became more and more concerned about how I would be able to retire in some sort of comfort. I was laid off from my job and things looked even bleaker. I examined many “work at home” programs but decided that they weren’t for real. I spent months looking for another job, but there seemed to be none to be had. Meanwhile my “nest eggs” were slowly, well maybe not so slowly, dwindling. Then, just a few days ago, I saw the news on TV. Gitmo detainees were being shipped to places like Bermuda and Palau! Their living expenses were being covered by Uncle Sam. It dawned on me that my “golden years” were no longer in jeopardy! I’ll be able to spend my days basking in the sun, diving in clear blue waters, fishing for exotic species. All I have to do is claim to be a militant Islamic extremist and the government will ship me off to a tropical paradise, and pay for me to live there. What a wonderful country we live in! I wonder if I can get them to pay for family visits and the like; seems reasonable to me!