Academia Glossary

I was introduced to college life in September of 1961 at what was once the Cumberland Valley State Normal School at Shippensburg Pennsylvania. In academia, names are more important than substance, so over the years that institution was renamed Shippensburg State Teachers College, then Shippensburg State College and now Shippensburg University of Pennsylvania.

My major was math, but by necessity I learned to navigate in a land of confusion, lost records and hostile staff. I’ve experienced academia, as a student, an employee, and a parent of college students. I’m sharing my knowledge with those embarking on this a trek to guide them safely across the murky waters. This glossary is prerequisite to effectively deal with these formidable bureaucracies.

A. C. T. American College Test. This admission hurdle is not considered necessary if the person is over 21 years old but is required for younger admissions. This provides an opportunity to demean younger people.

ACADEMIC FREEDOM The right of faculty members to make total fools of themselves without being held accountable for their actions. Rarely do any of these so-called expressions of freedom in any way contribute to the educational environment, the welfare of the student, the pursuit of knowledge or the good of the institution. Attempts to suppress this freedom are met with cries of Nazi, Fascist, pigs.

ACADEMIC This phase of learning consumes a small percentage of the resources of the institution. It does not include the important aspects of college life, Athletics, Fraternities and Sororities, and Publishing.

ACCREDITATION Official recognition of an educational institution. The accreditation process is one that strikes terror into the hearts of all in the institution. (What if they really find out what we’re doing?)

ADMINISTRATOR Generally a figure-head, promoted, according to the Peter Principle, to his level of incompetence. Placed here, he can do no harm because his subordinates know his inadequacies. No important decision is passed to his level.

ADMISSION The big hurdle, “can I get in?” During the sixties, when five students were competing for three openings, admission approximated a camel going through the eye of a needle. With the statistics reversed, the process is a mock one and no matter what impression is given, the requirements now are alive (this can be waived) and possessing or able to acquire funds.

ADVISER A person employed by the college to advise to students. Advisors have three sets of conflicting objectives. The college must make money. Optimum return is achieved when classes are full of part time students or full time students carrying a minimum number of credits. Full time students are a drain on finances if they take more than the minimum number of credits. The advisor is secure if his department continues to have adequate enrollment hence it is in his interest to keep the student in the department as long as possible. The student, in most cases wishes to complete his under-graduate degree before qualifying for Social Security. These goals conflict and generally the student comes out on the short end.