An Advocates Formula
by Finding solutions to almost any issue a parent advocate to a special needs child, may come across when dealing with the school.
It does not matter if you are advocating for your child’s health or education, the reason your sister wants mom to go into a nursing home, or trying to figure out your marriage. All questions can be answered with a little thought and some work. A solution to most problems can be found and implemented. It takes a simple formula and some thinking.
The Formula: 5Ws + H + E = Answers and Solutions
We are going to place our example in the educational area. Advocates need to be able to answer this basic formula to over come many of the obstacles dealing with the schools.
The five Ws are who, what, why, where, and when. Your child comes home with a note saying she would not stay in her seat and had disrupted the class. You asked her about it and she replied that she just could not sit still and pay attention. You then ask if it was just in that one class or in others. You find out when in the day it happened.
In this case, the who would be the teacher reporting the problem and your child. What caused your child to break their controls and get up? Use the clues in the answers. If it is in the class that takes place right before lunch, then maybe the child needs a snack at the end of the class before.
The H is How. How did the teacher respond to the problem? How did your child behave? How does each feel about the situation?
The E means explain. Everyone explains his or her thoughts, feelings, and course of action. Does the teacher feel moving a disruptive student’s desk is the best solution and why. Does your child think it is no big deal or do they know what is causing their problem?
You have to use your own detective skills to add it all together to create a win-win solution for everyone. How will you put it all together and come up with an appropriate plan for your child while maintaining a good working relationship with the teacher and school?
Remember to keep your emotions in check. It is easy to let them stand up and take over but it really will only make things worse. Moreover, do not give in directly so the teacher or school feels empowered to take more then they should.
Write out your formula and study your different solutions to see which is the most appropriate. Then take it to the teacher or school. Have a plan B just in case and remember to get you may have to give a bit.
If you have all your facts and a plan, you will find your self much more successful.
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