Bullying: Too Serious to Ignore

(Intro) There is hardly anyone out there who wasn’t exposed to bullying in some form or the other when they were in school. We may have been the victims or the perpetrators. Usually ignored as a mild incident or a joke, bullying can have adverse effects on your child’s psychology if not attended to immediately.

The Different Forms of Bullying

In this day and age, bullying goes beyond just name calling and pushing little kids into the sand pile. Apart from the typical physical intimidation, bullying can manifest in different forms like:

• Verbal bullying which can include teasing by calling children names and spreading rumors about them
• Non-verbal bullying where the child is socially excluded from a group and made to feel like an outcaste
• Racist bullying, which, as the name suggests, is making derogatory remarks about the child’s race and culture
• Cyber bullying where the child is at the receiving end of emotionally disturbing messages and e-mails
• Sexual bullying where the victim is subject to unwanted physical contact and suggestive remarks

How do I know my Child is being bullied?

It isn’t very easy for a child who’s being bullied to talk about the problem. He could be embarrassed about not being able to stand up for himself or it could be plain fear. Parents need to look out for tell-tale signs that will indicate that the child is being picked on at school. The most common signs are depression, anxiousness, moodiness, unexplained aggression or violence, headaches, decreased appetites, nightmares, and fatigue.

A child who’s been persistently targeted at school might look for excuses like mysterious illnesses to miss school. He could also take an alternative route to walk to school. This could mean that the bully lies in wait for him en route to school. If your child “loses” or “misplaces” his personal possessions, it could indicate towards an aggressive classmate who is making him give up his favorite possessions. Do not explain away bruises and torn clothes as part of your child’s active sports life. It could be a strong indication that someone is attacking him physically. In extreme cases, children also start talking about suicide and even make attempts to end their lives.

What Can I do Help Him?

Let’s start by not over-reacting and getting high strung about the issue. Combat the problem with a cool head and a definite strategy. Learn to differentiate between occasional leg-pulling and serious bullying. Extend your full support to your child and help to calm his fears. While it is not advisable to teach your child to fight back using violence, teach him how to tackle the matter confidently and assertively. Ask him to stand his own ground, look the bully squarely in the eye and speak loudly enough to be heard.

Contact your kid’s school teacher and take his or her help to solve the problem. If you find that no prompt action has been taken, you should approach the principal and ask for the matter to be addressed immediately. It would also be a good idea to involve the parents of the bully. However, avoid any confrontation and choose tact and sensitivity to approach the issue.