How to Pass Your Exams Without Killing People

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You could always give the class nerd (swot, clever dude, whatever you call them) a call and ask for some revision time together.  Conversely, if a friend is struggling but truly is trying their best, then rope them in too.  Either way, what this involves will be peer group teaching and learning, which is a good way of either being informed or informing.  It also helps to diversify your revision methodology.  Or, as Jennifer Anniston will tell you, will help give you a variety of different ways in which to check and build on your knowledge.  Variety is, after all, the spice of this thing we call life.

Choose Where You Revise Carefully and Be Careful with Your Diet

Home is the best place to revise but it has to be acknowledged that sometimes it may be the worst.  Depending on the amount of younger siblings you have, the support you receive from your parents and the size and place of your room, it maybe a better option to try and find somewhere else to do the work you must in order to pass.  Several or more visits to the local library may avoid bloodshed at home.  It is unlikely that your local law enforcement agency will allow you to do the exam, even in handcuffs.

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Also, there is such a thing as brain food.  By moving your diet towards fresh fruit, vegetables and clever meat like fish and away from E-numbers and foods high in saturated fat and sugars you will find that as your body becomes cleaner inside then your mind will become fresher for longer periods.  Incidentally, fries and those green gherkin things in a Big Mac do not constitute vegetables (fresh or otherwise).  

Being careful with the above may help you to avoid familicide.

Be Cynical but Not Jaded

Cynicism – well measured – is not too bad a thing when it comes to exams.  After all, these exams are measuring your performance against not only those you know but those you do not – your whole nation possibly.  If you think this is an irrelevance in terms of where you are at the moment, this may be true but think again.  One day it will be wholly relevant and pretty important and when that day comes – and it will, believe me – you will care.  Recognize the fact that to you as an individual, right here, right now exams may not mean much or anything but that here there is a massive but (one ‘t’ you chucklehead).

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This is it.  Future you will care a whole heap.  So try and disallow your (only natural you great big bag of teenage hormones) cynicism from spoiling your chances in the future.  Suicide isn’t usually painless, honestly, but it can take a long time as well.  Remember, too, that after the exam period you will usually have a period of time off, whether it is a few weeks or even a few months.  Work now so you do not have to spend the time off worrying abut your results.  Oh happy happy, joy joy to be ending on a high note.

Another End Note

Of course this is not and never was an attempt to guarantee you exam success.  Only you can do that, you are your own only guarantee.  However, the author hopes that in some small way he has relieved some of your worries and contributed to lowering the number of exam related homicides in this beautiful but sometimes violent world we inhabit.  Sigh.