Introverts are an unusual group of people. It is not easy being an introvert, but all the work is worth it.
Maintaining an Introvert Life
It takes a lot of skill and cunning to lead the life of an introvert. One has to know how to bob and weave. Introversion is a covert operation of sorts. After years of practice, I have become an expert at protecting the lifestyle that works for me. I would be one miserable, drained individual if I did not utilize the following techniques:
1. Always own a dog. Colleagues want you to attend a social function after work, but no one will be home to let the dog out. The poor thing has been left alone for over eight hours for Pete’s sake! A big thank you to Little Bit, Teddy, Ashley, Bo and now Molly.
2. Tell everyone that you believe it is cruel to board your dog. There is no way you would go to Florida for a week! Put a poor pup in a kennel? I adopt shelter dogs. They have spent enough time in a cage. Never!
3. Always have a kid in college. Not enough kids? Nieces and nephews will do. Visiting a kid at college over the weekend trumps any social event!
4. Have aging parents! They always need you. “Parents before Party” is my motto!
5. Never answer the phone. The machine will get it. Return the call when you have practiced your excuse. Ask son or husband if excuse sounds valid. If it’s a go, run it over in your mind a few times, then return that call.
6. Make sure that six foot tall cedar fence that surrounds the entire backyard receives regular maintenance. One must preserve that privacy.
7. Wear sunglasses even on cloudy days. People may not recognize you. They will believe the reason you did not wave was due to the dark sunglasses obstructing your view.
8. Always have the automatic garage door opener at the ready. Neighbor working in their front yard? No problem. Make it look like you are concentrating on maneuvering the car into the garage without incident. Maintain focus and immediately close that garage door once you’re in. Safe!
9. Always work during lunch. Eat at your desk. People just assume you are either not that sharp, or you are one dedicated employee.
10. If you are a teacher (me), always make sure your name is followed by “not pictured” in the school yearbook. Do this often enough, and the administration finally just gives up on you.