My Son’s Graduation

The morning was clear and cold. Missouri was experiencing one of those spring cold snaps that reminds us that “temperate” weather zones can be down-right temperamental.

Nevertheless, I optimistically dressed in the summery costume I had brought with me to my oldest son’s house: a pink crinkle cotton skirt, trimmed in cotton lace, a matching vest, and a baby-doll pink t-shirt with the words, “Proud Parent of a Columbia College student”.  I was all over swelling up with pride, just like Pete Seeger’s Foolish Frog, for my child would be graduating Magni Cum Laudi, with a Bachelaureate in Computer Linguistics.

This was a momentous day.  When Feaelin (his screen name for his blogs and other online work) was eighteen, he attempted academia.  He loved the environment, the computer lab, meeting like-minded young people, and girls. Home support wasn’t all I could have wished to give him.  We had severe financial problems and my marriage was falling apart. The combined emotional and financial stress, plus the heady freedom of the college campus all added up to a 0.71 gpa for his first semester.

After floundering a bit, he met my daughter-in-law, Melelavai (screen name).  He went to work for Best Buy, then for the City Chamber of Commerce where he maintained computer networks. The youngsters married.  She was accepted into graduate studies at MU. Thanks to his work experience for the City, he was able to get work in Columbia maintaining computer network systems for the veterinary college.

He took some computer classes here and there during these years, and pulled his gpa up to a respectable level. However, when I would mention things like: “People with degrees earn more than those without,” he would just grin and say he was earning more than I was–which was indisputably true.

When Melelavai recieved her doctorate, they decided to move to Chicago so that she could continue with her post doctoral work. They made the assumption that a person skilled with computer hardware could get a job anywhere.  Unfortunately this was not true. For a year, they struggled to get by on her assistantship.  Fortunately, she was able to get a position back at MU, and thanks to help from her parents, they were able to move back to Missouri, where they hoped Feaelin would also be able to find work.

We all know what was going on in the financial world five years ago, however.  Our current recession was just getting up steam.  Feaelin had a variety of part-time jobs including a video store, and contract labor for MU’s computer department. When he interviewed for a bank and they suggested that he should push charge card accounts (and even had a quota!), he decided enough was enough, and he began the tortuous process of applying to MU.

MU, however, does not consider classes taken later for better grades as a replacement; they average the total hours taken with the total grade points.  By their standards, his gpa still fell short of their minimum for admission.  So he applied to Columbia College, where he was accepted.

His first semester, he made four “A’s”.  By the end of the first year, he had enough scholarship money to allow him to quit his part time job at Valhalla’s Gate, a gaming store.  Just as importantly (from my point of view), he became engaged in the learning process, enjoying his classes, sharing insights from discussion, redeveloping the self-exteem that had taken a pretty good beating in the years between his job as a computer network specialist and enrolling in Columbia College.

I had forgotten my coat, but layered on sweaters, poncho, scarf and a hat to keep off the sun, and braved the brisk morning air to watch the Ivy Ceremony.  This charming event is a hold-over from when Columbia College was a Christian Women’s college.  The participants are linked together with a  long garland of ivy.