Oh, God: Conversations with Children About Religion in a Public School Setting
by How to accept and facilitate discussions between children that involve religion, in a healthy and inclusive manner.
One: If the discussion comes up, don’t discourage it by saying “ask your parents”. A pretty big assumption on your part but a pretty standard response by most educators, not because they themselves lack the knowledge or ability or willingness to the discussion, but because some school cultures do not encourage such topics that can be considered ‘loaded’. Sadly, the parents may be less qualified than the five year old, and prejudice is often learned in the home (though I would like to think all parents are wonderful, enlightened people who would thoughtfully and fully answer all of a five year old’s tough questions).
Two: Let the children explain their own traditions. While you might think things are done one way, you might be wrong for their particular household. This can be kind of hard if you have a couple of five year olds who speak in fragment sentences anyway. Gently direct by asking questions of your own that could start with “Do you mean….?”
Three: Make the statement that everyone is different, everyone does things differently, and that doesn’t make you wrong or right. Just you, which is fine and wonderful. Bring other ideas to the table-if the question is Christmas traditions and why doesn’t Sally have a tree, show that many people around the world don’t celebrate the winter holidays with a tree, or even Christmas and it’s not even winter in Australia. Discuss what other people do instead.
Four: Stop negative statements by listening and intervening when necessary. Sadly, I had to do this more than once as children regurgitate negative statements that they have heard elsewhere in their lives. Don’t make them feel bad about it, or that they are a bad person for saying it. It’s not their fault. Focus on the statement, and point out why it is hurtful and what can be said instead even if it is “I don’t agree with you.”
Five: It is okay to agree to disagree! You might be thinking, “Wow, I can’t discuss religion with any of my co-workers, she is crazy if she thinks kids can.” Kids can. They can discuss better than adults who have a lifetime of insecurities and baggage to overcome in that very personal discussion. An if there are disagreements don’t make the disagreements too big of a deal. “Hey, you guys both do things differently. Cool. Let’s go play kickball.”
With those five tips, remember its not a conversation you need to engineer, no matter how much you think it would benefit your group, and remember your parents. If a child is upset or unsatisfied with how a conversation went, go ahead and tell mom/dad/guardian, or if they are a shining example of knowledge and acceptance. I know as a parent I would like to know significant things in my child’s day. You might get some fallout with people who think you are teaching religion, or advocating one over another, but just be calm and logical and explain that it was just a dialogue between peers who wanted to get to know each other better. Enjoy!
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Post Commentpostpunkpixie
On February 13, 2009 at 8:50 pm
Great tips. It must be hard work keeping the peace in a multicultural school… it’s hard enough keeping adults acting civilly.