This is a hydra –headed discourse, without any definable paradigm, which is responsible for most societal moral upheavals, giving educationists and sociologists a Herculean task to contend with.

The mind of babies at birth are “tabular void” that’s there is no encoded information in the mind of a newly born as such knowledge for all a child needs is acquired through education that includes sex education.  The quality of this education is determined by a child’s environment.

 The debate has been on how, when and who is responsible for a child’s sex education.  How will this information be passed-with innuendo, euphemistic courage or direct to the fact approach?  When do we start educating a child, at what age, five, ten, twelve or adolescence?  Who should be responsible for sex education- parents, schoolteacher, mass media, or the person next door?  This has been the point of controversy for a while.

In this discourse, I will discuss some practical rudiments associated with sex education of child.  This article focuses on the aforementioned-how, when, and who to navigate through this discourse for an adequate comprehension.

CHILD’S ENVIRONMENT

To a good proportion, a man is the product of his environment- societal mores (customs and conventions) is a particular society dictates what worldview adopted by all in that environment, and the quality of such cultural nuances determines what a person in such environment turns out to be.  

Before I examine how, when and who concepts as stated above I will explain the environments available to a child. I will use these terms to illustrate my views –primary environment, secondary environment and tertiary environment these stages of child’s environment have Proportional effects to its development.

PRIMARY ENVIORNEMNT

This is the first and immediate space a child interacts with. It’s the most effective environment for education.  This space is occupied by parents (mother, father) and other members of the nuclear family (brother and sister).  This is most trusted and believed environment to a child-information is received without reservations or questioning.  Also, is the most loved environment and remains most loved, if all goes well.  But in the contrary, it becomes most despised and hated environment, that accounts for early leave of most children from home and never return but stays and loved the street stead.

SECONDARY ENVIRONMENT

The second stage builds or compliments on the structures set by primary – the foundation. These are- teachers (secular and religions), counselors, psychologists, social workers, and psychiatrist and of course the mass media (film, TV shows, advertisement, magazine).  All these have their times and places in education (sex education) to a child. The biology teacher should not surprise a child with her reproduction lecture but with it, build on already acquired information.

TERTIARY ENVIROMENT

These are the larger society –peers, the man and woman next door, etc. Information acquired at primary and secondary stages serve as a place of reference in checks and balances to information exposed to a child at this level of its environment.  As most information are informed and un-synchronized but disjointed.

The three stages (primary, secondary and tertiary) overlaps with each other and can be concurrently applied.

HOW, WHEN, WHO (TO CHILD’S SEX EDUCATION)

 

HOW

How should a child receive sex education? In most cultures of the world, especially in Africa and Asia the subject ‘Sex’ is seen or perceived as a subject for the secret. All that pertains to sex are activities of the close door. This secrecy creates suspicious and curiosity in the mind of a child.  Even, when discussed, words or languages are use differently, creating another barrier to child’s sex education.

 These are some approaches adopted:

1.    Innuendo

2.    Euphemistic coinages

3.    Direct to fact approach

4.   Nothing to something approach

INNUENDO:-Is a word or statement that used instead of another that is termed offensive, an indirect reference to words that suggests bad or rude – example, A mother tells her daughter “don’t allow men to touch you less you be pregnant”, ‘touch’ has replaced the word ‘sex’ as such creates a communication gaps, which most parents leave for any other to fill.

EUPHEMISTIC COINAGES:-This may differ from place to place but the purpose is same, that’s to keep a child from what’s not meant for his/her age.  Sex is termed a higher knowledge to a child as such as simple word or expression is coined to educate on sex matters. This also creates curiosity in the mind thereby arousing interest for investigation.

DIRECT TO FAST APPORACH:-This suggests that sex be discussed frankly and openly.  Nothing to be hidden.  Good and frank as it sounds, but had not proved to be the best approach, most early sex attempts are linked to this form of sex education.  This form arouses interest within a child, mostly when teaching is done without a dividing line-as to inappropriate timing.  This had never been judged to be the best approach to sex education.

NOTHING TO SOMETHING APPORACH:-This suggests stages are exposition of information-that’s from the periphery, then to the center. That is a kind of a frank gradual release of information into a young mind as ability to manage knowledge and comprehension develops.  At first instance, sex organs are simply, urinating organ later, to be told its for more other things.  This suggests to a child that I need to know more as I grow up and mum /dad is willing to educate me.  The advantage of this is that channel of communication on the subject ‘sex’ will remain open between a child and its immediate environment, Particularly at the primary environment, which serves as a reference point to a child in event of confrontation from information at other environments.

This brings us to the next subtopic, when –at what time should a child receive sex education

WHEN

A survey shows that there are divergent opinions on what time a child should receive sex education opinions ranged from age 5 to adolescence.  Nevertheless, at whatever age one starts has its advantages and disadvantages.  If on starts at age 5, the child is about leaving his primary environment to the secondary environment.  Anytime beyond this period a child spends most of the daily hours within secondary environment: This keeps the child away from primary educators –with little or no education which he needed to acquire at this stage.  Furthermore, at age 5, even earlier than that, mass media had done much to a child.  If care is not taken becomes the primary environment of every modern child.  But mass media suppose to build on sex education received at primary environment (the home).

I think that sex education should start as soon as communication is established between a child and members of his primary environment- parents and siblings.  For instance, when a 3-year-old child is refused to sleep beside the mother, despite his insistence- he needs an explanation to what must have been the reason for such refusal from his loving mum and dad.  The problem has been, “what will I tell him?”  We will soon get to that within discourse.

Teaching sex education at this very early age requires a great skill and wisdom as such, parents have all to fate and chance.  By the time they try to teach, they find communication line not open- this frustration makes most parents abandon sex education to other educators, whom their duty should have been to compliment on what they (parents) has started.

 

WHO

Who are sex educators to a child?  I will explain this with an aid of the diagram underneath.

Ascending order (1):

*.— Peers, man/woman next door

**. —Teachers, Psychologist, mass media,

     Counselors, social workers, psychiatrist.

***.–Parents and siblings 

                                  Diagram (fig i)

Descending order (2):                                                            

***.  — Parents and siblings

**.    —Teachers, Psychologist, mass media,

         Counselors, social workers, psychiatrist.

*. — Peers, man/woman next door

Diagram (fig ii)

The diagram (fig1) is a normal situation in sex educational development.  The base and foundation is the nuclear family, where needed information on sex education should be communicated as soon as possible.  The next on the pyramid plays a complimentary role to information acquired at the previous stage. While the succeeding stage on the pyramid should just be an addition to knowledge.

Then, the inverted diagram (fig ii) is an adverse situation where a child is kept to the dark on sex education until school age.  The earliest contacts are made with peers and man/woman next door. This education is always incomplete and distorted, while next stages would have a Herculean task handling child sex education. Parents are left with a fire bridge approach to salvage the ugly situation.

SUGGESTED APPROACHES TO SEX EDUCATION

These are early start methods while late start methods would be discussed in the next article.  At first you need a technique to open up communication between you and the child; make a gradual entrance to the subject-sex education, gradual entrance depends on a child’s age and ability of comprehension.  Steps as follows

A.     Stories

Moral embellished can be used to communicate effectively, sex education.  This includes true-life stories of parents- including early marriage days and recent joys and bliss of relationship in case there is no joy and bliss still there is a way the opposite could be a beneficial story to a child.  I will discuss the aspect in the next article there I will write more on adverse situation.  Furthermore, stories like, “before I married your mother or father”- can open us a conducive atmosphere and channel of communication between parent and child.

B.     Folktales and Folklores

This a means of using tales to communicate morals in children, it serves as an important means as well to communicate sex educations to children. Folktales and folklores are not common these days. They are society specific stories, with either animal or human character or both used to pass morels values and virtues to children- sex education is a virtue and value need in young generation. Most juvenile challenges are traced to inability of the family front in educating children when it really matt. A child can not be said to be asexual, as such needed guidance promptly.

C.               Seven Don’t

1.                 Don’t use lies on sex questions. But be simple and frank, or it wouldn’t be long the child will verify your statement and find a lie. He may never challenge your but definably will never believe in you.

2.                 Don’t use fearful intimidation- heaven and hell, HIV/aids, pregnancy etc. because as days go by it would become ineffective to a child’s mind.

3.                 Don’t postpone indefinably, talk on their question on sex education. The child will ask another who may not guide him truly and fairly.

4.                 Don’t keep secrets, for it may create curiosity                  and investigation.

5.                 Don’t use guide and protective measure use information to guide and control the child. You can not police about for you are not omni-presence.

6.                 Don’t refer child’s question on sex education- talk to dad or talk to mum.

7.                 Don’t threaten or bully- it’s a Child’s right to be educated, formally and informally.

In this article I was able to discuss sex education predominately within the family and earliest contact to a child. My next article in a short while will discuss further on (fig ii) diagram and sex education in adolescence and youths.