Social Skills Taught in School: Do Adults Really Behave That Way?
by The mission of most schools is to produce well-rounded, good behaving young adults. Along with reading, writing, and math, children are taught social skills. Students must be quiet and must walk quietly in a single line. How many well-rounded, good behaving adults do you see following those rules? Are the social skills they are being taught in school really a means to producing independent members of the community? Or are they simply to teach the children they had better listen or else?
Social skills are a necessary part of human development. As babies, we learn how to trust and to be comforted through social interactions with our parents and loved ones. As toddlers we learn how to interact with our world by watching those around us. As preschoolers, we learn to share and take turns by playing with other children. As children in elementary school, adolescents in middle school, and young adults in high school, what important lessons of socialization do we really learn?
Students are supposed to learn how to sit quiet and listen to a teacher as she teaches a lesson. They should learn how to raise their hand when they have a question or need to interrupt a discussion. They are taught to walk down the hall quietly, being certain to stay in a straight line and not touch the wall. They are taught to control their bladder and their urge for thirst by waiting until an appropriate time to use the restroom and get a drink of water. Overall, they are taught the social norms of expected behavior for interactions that will be needed throughout adulthood. Or are they?
How many adults do you see raise their hand before speaking on the job? When engaging in a group shopping trip, how many adults do you see walking silently in single file line? What adult do you know only uses the restroom or gets a drink of water at a certain time of the day? Research shows students learn best by the modeling behavior of adults. Is it really any wonder why students have a difficult time following the expected rules for socialization in school? They do not see adults engaging in such social behaviors and therefore find it, well, pointless.
Social rules in classrooms are an important part of classroom management. When thirty students are all in the same room together, rules are a must in order to make learning effective. Establishing rules is not the problem here. The problem can be found in purpose of the rules. Are the rules established as a means to force a change in behavior and demand compliance with the expectations of the teacher and/or school; the “you will behave this way or else” approach? Or are the rules established as a means to teach respect and the proper social skills associated with adulthood? A simple change in the approach to classroom rules can bring about great changes in student compliance.
Liked it
