Your Child’s Report Card Explained

After every year it is likely that your child will bring home a report card from their school. Apart from giving you the information on how they are doing grade wise, the teacher will probably have written some more information about their personality. Let’s be honest though, teachers have a tendency of being almost cryptic with what they write so as not to be deemed to being too offensive about the children. Below, you will find a handy guide to easily decipher the difference from what the teacher writes and what they actually mean.

A BORN LEADER:

If this is written on your child’s report card then there is a very high chance that your child is in fact running some sort of protection racket.

A RATHER SOLITARY CHILD:

Really this is just a way for the teacher to inform you that your child either has a real problem with cleanliness or has nits crawling in their hair and not one other child wants to be near them.

A VERY INQUIRING MIND:

Read this on the report card and the likelihood is that your child has already discovered the opposite sex by partaking in the harmless playing of doctors and nurses.

DOES NOT ACCEPT AUTHORITY EASY GOING:

Why could this be? Possibly their father figure is doing time in jail.

FRIENDLY:

Always good to be friendly to people but what teacher actually means is that the child very rarely stops talking to the other children.

GOOD PROGRESS:

Good progress is always good but for this comment just remember the work may still be awful but maybe it was worse the year before!

HELPFUL:

Nothing worse to a teacher than the teachers pet, who always wants to answer every question asked and always volunteers for everything despite never knowing what it is for. Teacher describes such children as helpful.

OFTEN APPEARS TIRED:

Clearly there must be a reason for this but teacher does not want to accuse the parents right off. Could be the child is staying up late at night watching TV or playing video games.

POPULAR IN THE PLAYGROUND:

Good chance here that your child will be selling something to the other kids, perhaps sweets, perhaps drugs. Better to keep an eye on these ones.

RELIABLE:

If you think the teacher means the child is reliable when it comes to homework you are way off the mark. What they really mean is that the child can always be relied on to grass up their mates for any wrongdoing.

Disclaimer: (all the above are meant to be taken tongue-in-cheek, so don’t take them too seriously)