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American Men Secretly Long for Traditional Wives

The Sexual Revolution has made it increasing difficult for American men to find women who want to be “traditional wives”.

CNN recent special “Black in America” raised the thorny issue of the lack of eligible bachelors in the black community.

Much ink and video tape has been expended on this issue, which was even the subject of a movie called “Something Different,” in which a professional black woman finds love with a white landscaper.

The CNN special featured a bull session with black professionals from the Atlanta area. One of the issues brought up by one of the sisters in the group was black men being afraid of “professional, accomplished women.”

Black women are a particular unique group. I can feel for them and their lack of dating opportunities. I’m a black man, but even I can admit that many brothers are struggling with issues like unemployment, incarceration and out of wedlock children.

Because Black American men have largely failed in their roles as fathers and leaders of the family, black women have learned to do without them. Many black women are constantly admonished by their parents, and in many cases single mothers, to never rely on a black man because “a brother will always let you down.”

I don’t advise any woman in today’s society to be totally dependent on a man, but by encouraging black women to make themselves independent many parents are setting their daughters up for failure. A marriage or a relationship is a partnership by definition, and it’s very difficult to be in a relationship with an independent -minded woman, who is used to doing thing her own way.

The sister from Atlanta complained about black men being intimidated by strong, independent woman, but she misses the issue. The roles of men and women have radically changed over the last half century. While women are expected to work and further their education in college, many men still secretly want to have a wife like their mother, one who took care of the children, cooked, cleaned and had a hot meal ready for him when you gets home.

It may be politically incorrect to admit that in modern-day America, but I wonder how many of those “strong, independent” black women are willing to make the sacrifices necessary to be a good wife? Sisters should pay heed to those studies that show that the further women move up the corporate ladder, the less likely they are to get married. Men in Corporate America, have seen the lives that corporate women lead, and they realize that lifestyle is not conducive to being a good wife or mother.

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  1. TheMrs

    On May 23, 2010 at 12:13 pm


    It sounds like a vicious cycle. How can women stay at home if her children’s father is unwilling to make a commitment to them or is sitting in jail? Getting your dinner when you get home from work (if you have a job) is not a survival skill. Being able to support yourself and your children is, Thus, women’s need to work comes first.
    Personally, I have a wonderful man who likes me working outside the home. Why? It makes me happy. And yes, dinner is typically ready when he gets home from work too. When its not we enjoy preparing it together.

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