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Celebrities, Reptilians, Illuminati and The Devil

What the actual f***.

I almost feel like I, as a human, am going extinct.

I feel like a dinosaur right about now.

Waiting for a snowball to b*tchslap me and kill me.

It just seems like the more famous you get, the more reptilian you become. Apparently there are a lot of “proofs” out there about shapeshifting people. And about how various artists are “the devil”. Sometimes, those same people are part of the Illuminati. Is this a package deal or are people just going nuts?

I can’t watch a music video of Lady Gaga anymore without seeing at least one other video suggestion of some 12-year old nerd explaining the all-so-clear reasons why she’s the devil. And if I click on that, well…it just goes downhill from there.

Suddenly everybody’s Satan, there are horns and crosses flyin’ about, and I just feel like I wanna flag something.

What’s even scarier is that it doesn’t even have to be Lady Gaga. Eminem, Katy Perry, news reporters… they’re all in.

Everybody is The Devil Himself. Everybody is a shapeshifting reptilian. Everybody is part of the Illuminati.

Enough with the devil!

Where are all the Jesuses?!

Why is it easier to find “proof” of all these celebrities being a motherf*!@ing reptilian than it is of them being HUMAN?

If we keep up with this, 20 years from now there will be no more races. There will be…breeds. There will be no more african-american, caucasian, asian, latino and so on people. Instead we will have reptilians, vampires, werewolves, robots, dragons and pigeon-people.

They will capture footage of humans and present them on national television as paranormal evidence.

I don’t care if it’s true or not. Triond doesn’t pay me more if it is. Nor does my mother love me any less if it isn’t.

I don’t understand how people have gotten to the point where they’re just so sure that every artist has to sell their soul to the devil and write their name in blood on the contract.

B*tch, we use a pen now.

So unless they care to make it a public matter, let them artists have a shred of private life and keep their religious beliefs to themselves.

And if they say they’re on God’s side, let them be on God’s side and quit trying to prove “the world” wrong.

You’re not scaring anyone.

You’re just being annoying as hell.

I just said “hell”.

Maybe I’m the devil too.

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User Comments
  1. toomanysounds

    On September 10, 2011 at 8:02 am

    The reptilian conspiracy theory is ancient. David Icke was on telly spouting it about the British Royal family in the 90’s. Though it could’ve been an allegory describing a deeper hereditary transfer of power which exists within the monarchical system – and in fact all systems.

  2. juliachild

    On September 10, 2011 at 2:17 pm

    good news

  3. Martin Kloess

    On September 11, 2011 at 4:35 am

    very good.

  4. juliachild

    On September 11, 2011 at 12:55 pm

    Very interesting

  5. DR.VNS

    On September 11, 2011 at 9:58 pm


  6. PruandMe

    On September 12, 2011 at 5:37 pm

    Nice rant – the repitilian theory was a new one to me.

  7. juliachild

    On September 16, 2011 at 12:43 pm

    great news

  8. Socorro Lawas

    On September 16, 2011 at 8:23 pm

    very smartly conceived and well-composed– delightful reading!

  9. vickylass

    On September 22, 2011 at 6:59 am

    One wonders what these celebrities have done to be so famous as none of them have a bit of education or brains. Aren’t we giving them far too much importance? While we go on reading or watching on their lives or whatever it is related to them, they’ll continue to be on the spotlight and on the headlines. Thanks for sharing.

  10. Elena

    On December 31, 2011 at 9:34 am

    U are possibly the most unintelligent and ignorant person I’ve ever known in my life. U will remember this article one day and hopefully it won’t be too late.

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