Do Black Mothers Exploit Their Sons?
Before the black man was thrust into the walls of prison, he was nurtured in the walls of the womb of the black woman. If we have found a way to instill in our daughters to remain in school and not our sons, something is spiritually amidst in the way we are socializing our black male child.
According to a recent article in Newsweek “College educated black women already earn more than the median for all black working men…Only 13.5% of young black females are high school dropouts whereas more than 17% of young black men are.”
Black women have climbed America’s social economic ladder in strides in comparison to the black man. Economically speaking, black women can claim victory for remaining focused in an educational setting and working diligently in the work force to obtain managerial and professional positions. If we as black women can claim victory for moving ahead economically, we must be intelligent enough, wise enough and strong enough to claim defeat in raising our young black men.
The black men that we are leaving behind do not belong to another race, culture or ethnic group. These men are not from mars or from across the sea. The men they we are leaving behind are our sons, brothers, cousins, uncles and fathers. These are the men who were raised in the same homes with us. Before the black man was thrust into the walls of prison, he was nurtured in the walls of the womb of the black woman. If we have found a way to instill in our daughters to remain in school and not our sons, something is spiritually amidst in the way we are socializing our black male child.
One of the main mistakes that I have observed that black mothers make is that they encourage black boys to take on the responsibilities of black men. Many refer to their sons as, “Mommas little man who is going to take care of momma one day.” Psychologically, this makes the child feel responsible for the well being of his mother. The parental role is being reversed. Before the black male child can develop into a responsible man, he must first be nurtured and cared for as a child. As mothers and caregivers we should be concerned with curfew hours, homework assignments and actually participating in social activities with our children, regardless of gender.
I think many young black men feel pressure to earn money at a young age to help their families. As mothers we should encourage them to do well in school, while we do whatever is necessary to take care of them. The late rap artist Tupac Shakur said it best in his song, Dear Momma, “Even though I sell rocks, it feels good putting money in your mailbox.” Many mothers know that their sons are hustling to make money, hoping to strike it rich to provide for his family. In my opinion, this is the root of why so many of our young black men are in jail… trying to make money the fast way to please momma. As black mothers, I feel we inadvertently encourage this behavior. The black male must first be a nurtured child before he can grow into a strong man.
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Post Commentktruth
On January 9, 2008 at 10:07 am
Enjoyed the artcile and totally agree that requiring a boy to be a man puts debilitating pressure on our sons. I think that some mothers do it out of the stress of having to go it alone which is extremely difficult especially if they don’t make a lot of money. It’s no excuse. I certainly hope black men will take their place to bring the balance neeeded in our boys.
ambyr
On July 20, 2008 at 6:11 am
Okay, I must admit when I first started reading this article, I thought “oh great another attempt at blaming the black woman for everything wrong within the black community”. However, as I read I started to agree with this article to an extent. I still think the majority of the problem with young black men is that our black men tend to opt out of raising their children. On second thought, if our women would insist on being married before having children or at least wait a while to assess the character of their partners I believe there would be less problems. Anyhow, I grew up with a lot of black me who felt obligated to sell drugs or participate in other illegal activities to help their mothers out. Even if the mother does not ask him for this help simply accepting money when you know your son does not have a job is enough.
spoiledhoops11
On August 16, 2009 at 7:58 pm
This is a cery inspiring article. It makes you think about alot of things. Great article. I really enjoyed it.
Leonardo da Vinci E.
On September 15, 2009 at 1:14 pm
Exploiting them to turn out to be “hard” in that sexy manner that black women like their men to be sensually.
jama
On November 26, 2009 at 2:49 pm
I am exteremly annoyed with black women and their sons. As an educated beautiful black woman. I find it very hard to love a black man because every time i do their serpentine mother appears from outside of hell. These manipulative witches play their sons like a harp so that they can get their finances
These men (their sons) are nothing but an atm to these women, who emotionally black mail their sons to make up for the love that they failed to achieve in their adult life.
They believe that when he engages another woman in a relationship the woman will close in and take away the son’s money. That is really sick where an individuals affection is based on seeing their children as providers. This really nasty mindset.
You know why the black family unit is extinct ! I have one solution the black mothers in our society. They are failures and they raise men who are emotionally retarded they manipulate their sons in to thinking that they are only person that loves them.
These sick disgusting women! They need to understand that love is free from manipulation. They have made their sons less than what they can actually be. It is indeed sad that african americans males are filling the prison. Their mothers have sucessfully failed them.
As a woman I look forward to raise a loving sucessful indepent son. i will teach him to love his wife and love his children
Women s
S.G
On February 27, 2010 at 11:53 pm
This article is very intriguing, however, things aren’t that easy for black men nowadays. When you are a mother of a black man, you have to force him to grow up because the world outside of our home will do it, and I think it is best that it starts at home so that the child is not sent out there and torn apart. Most of the time, mothers do not intentionally pressure their sons to go out and make money, it is just that it becomes hard for a mother to provide on her own. It is a result of being unmarried with children in some cases, but not all. I, am a woman myself with a son, but as I grew up, I have felt the same urge to go out and make money to help my mother provide simply because it is hard on her part. I agree with some of your points in this article, it makes significant points, but everything depends on a person’s circumstance why children have to be brought up differently and faster than others.