How to Forgive Family Who Treat You Differently Due to Skin Color

Angry and bitter at how people in your own family have treated you because of your light or dark skin color over the years? You have done various things to try to get even with them but at the same time hurting your self in the process. Whether you were the darker or lighter one of the group, you have a problem with forgiving those in your family, but somewhere deep inside you know you should. Here’s what you need to do.

First, recognize your wrongs first. You most likely have done this already because you are reading an article like this on forgiveness. Once you hold yourself accountable for any wrongdoing whether privately or publicly you will experience peace. For instance, you may have lashed out at a relative over something that was meaningless and had nothing to do with the pain you were experiencing inside. Without he or she knowing what the problem is with you, how do they know how badly they have affected you?

Next, apologize when you are at fault. For instance, let’s say that you teased a relative for one of his or her shortcomings or handicaps.  Express your regret for a situation, when you do you will notice that after the anger and sadness leaves, you will experience more peace. It isn’t your responsibility to be concerned about whether the person accepts your apology. Let them be responsible for their own feelings while you walk away with a clean slate.

Third, vow to yourself that you will not do anything to keep your hurt or other people’s pain going. As much as you may be tempted to pay them back after doing something yet again to hurt you, don’t. As we all know, what goes around comes back around.

Fourth, improve yourself. Continue to do and say positive things that have given you the motivation to even take this step to forgive these people of your past. Even if it means awaking each day, reminding yourself that you are beautiful and that you accept all colors of people despite stereotypes and myths you may have heard. Tell yourself you will not pre-judge anyone because of what others have done to you, then let your actions speak for themselves.

Lastly, once you have gained some peace within and have discussed what ails you with others while communicating with those from your past, you must remind yourself not to think about what your family did to you any longer. You must fight the temptation to judge the red, black, white, yellow, or brown person. Remind yourself that any new person who has come into your life is not responsible for your pain, only you are.

When you find yourself slipping back into your old ways, take out a positive book that inspired you, make an appointment to see a professional, attend church, or call a friend up to talk about some of the challenges you are facing again with this issue of skin color. He or she may remind you of why it’s important for you to get back on track.

You may have children that you wouldn’t want to be affected with negativity from you or your family. You also don’t want a partner who gets turned off everytime you talk negatively about another race, and you wouldn’t want co-workers to ever know just how deep your issues are about other races.

Remember to stay away from people who don’t bring out the best in you. Gradually distance yourself away from them. Also, be careful opening up to people who have vowed to do you harm or continue to mentally or physically abuse you, make your amends from a distance. Situations like this can be dangerous so if need be just give your problems over to the God you serve.