Oreo: Black on the Outside, White on the Inside

“You don’t act black!”

Now, if I had a quarter for each and every time someone said to this or something to that affect to me I would be living the very high life in one of those million-dollar high-rise condominiums on Chicago’s lakefront and still have money left over for annual overseas vacations.

You see, I am what many people call an “oreo” – black on the outside, white on the inside, just like the cookie. Although I’m black, my personality and manners more closely resemble those of a stereotypical white man’s. I don’t act “hard”. I’m not overly-hip. My vocabulary isn’t heavily laced with street slang. My humor comes across to many people as corny. I’m not a quiet person but I’m not overly loud, either.

My personality, behavior and take on life crushes all what most people thought they knew about racial behavior. Most are quick to assume that I must have had either a sheltered childhood or one of privilege. I had neither. Some think that maybe I grew up with whites, another wrong assumption. I grew up in predominantly black neighborhoods surrounded by drugs and violence and, with the exception of a brief spell, in which I attended an elementary school that was half Hispanic, every school I went to was predominantly black. But, somehow the street hardness eluded me. Or, I eluded it. Even when I tried to act hard, I couldn’t. For a while, in fact, I was worried as to why I couldn’t act like a stereotypical black man and I often tried to “correct” my behavior to resemble that of someone who lived in the streets but I couldn’t do it. So, I gave up and decided to just be me.

Instead, I took on a personality that I seemed to be more comfortable with. The result is a quick-witted, smart-alecky, proper-talking, mild-mannered, corny joke-telling man who just so happens to be black. Women I’ve dated of other nationalities and ethnicities have been disappointed in me because I didn’t fit the type of black man they already had in mind. Instead of a Snoop Dog or 50 Cent act-alike, here they were with a black version of Family Ties’ Alex Keaton. Having conservative views certainly doesn’t help much.