The Complexities of Interracial Romance

Her English, while fluent and easily understandable, still has the limitations of a lifetime of cultural exposure that she can never fully recoup. It is a frustration that few people would have the tolerance to endure. Jokes made by coworkers that you don’t understand. Knowing references to shows you’ve never watched, books you’ve never read, commercials you’ve never seen. As the counterpart of a relationship with someone who has gone completely out of their comfort zone to share a life with me, it’s humbling to realize exactly how many sacrifices she’s made. That’s not to say I’m not guilty sometimes forgetting this when she’s harping on me, or when I feel that I’m being forced to change my behavior more than I’d like…because I definitely am. However, the overwhelming lesson I can convey to anyone who is currently in, or is considering entering a mixed-race or mixed-culture romance is…you will change. Your patience, as well as your partner’s, will be tested beyond any other relationship you may have had. In the end, your ability to stay together will depend almost completely on the love you have for each other; because on those days where it seems you cannot find any middle ground at all, love will be the glue that holds you together.

Do not be fooled by any cultural stereotypes that you have been brought up to believe, they are almost certainly 100% erroneous. You will find your relationship healthier and stronger if you go in with an understanding that you will both have to give – perhaps a lot more than is comfortable – in order to make it work. The reward, though, will be a deeper understanding and appreciation of a culture you might otherwise never have had…and an always interesting relationship with someone who always has something new to teach you.