When I Hate Being Black
by Sometimes I get angry at my race.
I try to teach my children everyday to be proud of who you are. We are Black and I love my history and all the accomplishments my ancestors have achieved. But sometimes I feel like a hypocrite, because lately watching the news and reading the paper, I want to cover my skin and shake my head shamefully.
I really started to think of this yesterday. Iwent to the African American Day Parade in New York. I have been attending this parade for years. This was the 39th year and I am 33. I have been going since I was a little girl and let me tell you “my have times changed” I took my children and met up with cousins and aunts and even my dad came to meet us there ( I didn’t grow up with him, and it’s always good to see him). Now let me first start by saying that I do not live in NY anymore. I moved to Connecticut five years ago so it was avery early morning for me( I had gone to The Big E the day before). Anyway, I get to Ny at 9:30am with three very hungry and tired children. We sat for hours waiting for the parade to start (it started at 1:30) I love this parade and make the trip each year because I love to see Black fire fighters and police officers and other professions. I want my kids to know that they can be everything and everyone was represented. I love the marching bands and the children displaying their various talents. I felt good to be black……. until
Behind us at about 6:00 trouble began. Groups of young men ( mostly in red) started trouble. Hadn’t they felt the same pride I felt. These kids are what I call the lost. They have grown up with out supervision and guidance. I thought where are the parents. What would give these kids the idea of such savage like behavior. Here we are all blacks, struggling against all of these outside forces, trying to get one of our own in the white house, and these “kids” and I use that word so that that I don’t sound too harsh, making all of us look bad. Is this the perception they want the world to see. I have a teenage son who loves red, but has no gang affiliation. He has loved red since he was very young. I had to advise him (and good thing I did) that there would be gang members out there and I didn’t want any problems. How sad is this. My son works hard to earn money and can’t even wear clothes that he has purchased his self. As I watch people old and young scramble to clear the way, I wondered why? I had gotten up early in the morning and spent the day with family that I rarely saw and it was all destroyed by these lost children. The saddest part is to watch cops of other races watch them fight each other, on this day, at this venue. I thought of all the groups thats sole purpose is to be against black people and here they are helping them.
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Post CommentClara
On October 5, 2008 at 10:11 am
I think your problems have nothing to do with your race and a lot to do with you personally. Germans don’t feel ashamed to be German because of Hitler. Chinese don’t feel ashamed to be Chinese because of Mao. Stupidity and crude behavior are no respecters of persons.
Angela
On September 21, 2009 at 7:55 am
I sometimes hate being black too, and wish that I was never born. Being black is embarssing. I hate the way my people behave and how I am automatically grouped with them even though I fit none of the stereotypes. Sometimes I hate God for making me black.
Passing by
On December 9, 2009 at 10:15 pm
Omg, Angela…I feel EXACTLY the same as you do. The words you used couldn’t be more precise in how I feel. God help us both!
Lily
On February 9, 2010 at 3:04 am
THIS IS JUST MY OPINION, DON’T JUMP DOWN MY THROAT:
no one wants to be categorized with negative stereotypes just upon being simply looked at. it sux! i’m ‘mixed’ & i don’t particulary like being viewed as someone who depends on government assistance, can complete any sentence in ebonics, watch bet, wont be able to pay rent/bills on time or any other “black stereotype”. and i’m sure the same goes for any other race, but either the other races don’t care as much or the impact of their history isn’t viewed as significant as ‘black history” just to turn out the way is some cases that is has. and i only say that cuz no other race (to my limited knowledge) contributed (by choice or not) as much as blacks have to the building of america. it just sux that all that hard work is greeted by todays negative stereotypes cuz some black people are comfortable being viewed “that way”. well i’m not, and i work hard on being veiwed as “semi” intellegent as well as having respect for myself, its totally disheartening when i am put into the same category as those who i feel dont have any respect for themselves “the ghetto-rats” “the ‘girl-friend this & that” etc. it doesnt seem to happen with asias or hispanics as much, well except for the recent middle-eastern stereotypes, sometimes i think they have it just as bad with being associated with terroism, even if their whole family was raised in america & they’re christian. guilty by ancestrial association.
like, going into a job interview, he interviewer wouldnt associate a korean with N.korea, but its more likely to associate a black person with a lack of work ethics, proned to have an attitude or unable to find a baby sitter, even tho it will never be verbally known, the water cooler would hear it all. i dunno, it just seems like thats the way the world is, and it sux for those who are trying to well for themselves.
ash
On February 10, 2011 at 3:18 pm
i hate being black to. its like a curse. i feel like i may have been evil in a pass life,and now im paying for it. i wouldnt wish this color on anyone
Asha
On March 3, 2012 at 9:26 pm
Being Black sucks, period. I can’t even be my true self as a Black person. The majority rules, and are the standard, and unfortunately when you are the Black, the majority is garbage.