Why Black Males Become Discouraged

      As the African-American mother gazed down into the face of her newborn son, she wished for him the best possible life.  She had seen her own mother and father struggle to raise a large family to which she belonged, but the thought that little newborn would have to suffer even a little almost broke her heart.  As she contemplated his future, she determined that his lot in life would have to be much better than hers or her siblings. This scenario plays over and over in the Black communities each and every time a male child is born.  Despite this grand wish, many Black males have become discouraged along life’s way.  You will find some of this discouraged lot in prison, on the corners having given up on life in general, or existing in a dependent state.  We will examine some of the chief reasons Black males become discouraged as they try to make it in life. 

LOW EXPECTATIONS-  In many African-American societies the expectations for achievement and self-improvement are low.  Many parents are primarily concerned with survival- eating, having a house to stay in, purchasing clothing and making ends meet.  Although many parents point their sons to a better way of life, that standard is not always as high as the child’s potential can reach.  Factory jobs, having one or two skills, no college attendance  are sometimes the case.   The Black male child will rise if the expectation level is elevated.  In homes where the bar is low, the male child sees no reason to rise above what is expected of him unless he is self-motivated.  Often teachers, counselors, and even peers are responsible for instilling into a boy the idea of his self-worth, and the idea that he, too, may aspire to go far beyond what he sees in his home or community.   If made to dream big, the Black male child will strive, with support, to reach a high standard. 

CRITICISM AND BEING IGNORED -  Whenever a Black male child is ignored, devalued by criticism, and made to feel low, his self image is crushed.  He begins to feel worthless and unappreciated.  In homes where he is put outdoors to play all day and not treated with respect, he begins to feel that he is on his own.  When parents or guardians are so wrapped up in theirselves, and he is neglected, he moves towards those who will accept him as he is.  Sometimes he learns bad habits and has associates who will pull him down on all levels.  Attention must be given to a Black male child.  He must be talked to, listened to, and taught what is important in life.  Into him must be instilled morals, correct interpretations of the law, and he must know where he fits into a society which is ever evolving.  He be able to express how he feels and feel that his views are valuable,  considered, and worthy of discussion.  As parents, guardians, and relatives draw the Black male child into the family circle in this way, he feels included, rather than excluded.  He feels needed and wanted.  The opposite end of the spectrum shows a child who has been weaned twice— once as an infant, and once from the nourishment of his family and community.